#i need to do uni assignments somehow as well

[airenyah]

idk how i'm supposed to focus on kidnap today when the heart killers

[jiniretracha]

~ Y/n is a "nerdy but hot" type of girl whos also rlly smart. The bad boy hyunjin has secret eyes for her. Shes always alone in class and doesnt talk to many ppl so basically shes mysterious ooo. One day hyunjin finally asks her to tutor him and she gets surprised knowing he knows she exists. Hyunjin has hooked up w many other girls but y/n is different as shes not despo like them and thats what attracts him to her. They both meet late night at a cafe and y/n is wearing a black tank top which has her neck and chest exposed and her lacy bra straps can be shown as well. She covered herself w a fuzzy jacket before entering the cafe but eventually took it off whilst tutoring hyunjin. Hyunjin feels lusty looking at y/n being so effortlessly hot and unknowing of it, he also gets turned on by the way she sucks her frappe straw etc. But he controls himself and after their study session ends hyunjin offers to drop her home on his bike and somehow enters her apartment as well where she lives alone and cozy with a good view of the city. They both have a deep convo before it turns into hot late night sleepy smut fr (also unexperienced y/n doing things with the guidance of hyunjin) tysmm

A Shakespeare's Sonnet - Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: smut!!, fluff, minho's mean but he's just an overprotective little shit, minsung exes to lovers, slight angst, felix and jeongin being supportive besties

Summary: The one where Hyunjin needs tutoring literature sessions, you are a smart hot student and Minho almost faints.

Word count: 9,3k (i went too far i fear)

PS: This was sent in April, i apologize for being so late ☠️. i've been working on a felix smau so forgive me 😭

MASTERLIST // my Ko-Fi

Hyunjin walked the halls of uni, his lazy walk attracting countless girls who would squeal under their breaths as they watched him pass across them, hoping silently one of them could end up being another notch on his bedpost. 

Hyunjin would be lying if he said he didn’t notice. Or that he didn’t love it. He was never one to take advantage of it, but having that feeling around him, of being wanted, was awesome. 

His friends also loved the attention people always had projected on him. It meant being invited to frat parties every single weekend, the coach calling them to the football team, and obviously, having girls flutter around them 24/7. 

What wasn’t something that was guaranteed by Hyunjin’s popularity, was having good grades. 

Hyunjin didn’t really study much, but he considered himself a smart person, so overall, he was a pretty good student. 

Until literature happened. 

He was so sure he was going to ace it, until a new professor, Mr. Jackson, came to uni and started giving out homework and assignments that were hard as fuck. 

The boy couldn’t believe his bad luck, as every single assignment he handed in, returned with a very angry red mark in the shape of an F. 

It was a Wednesday, when Hyunjin sat by the last seats of literature class, knowing how it was going to go down. 

“Do you think you passed?” Changbin asked Chan. 

Chan only snorted. “No way, man. I actually read the book he gave us last time, like 3 times, and the fucker still gave me an F” he rolled his eyes. 

Hyunjin sighed. “I think I failed as well”

“Yeah, dude, you’ve been failing all of yours. What’s up? You never go on a streak” Jisung says next to him.

He shrugs. “I guess it’s this fucking dude that apparently has a thing against me”

“Nah, I don’t think so” Changbin said. “I mean, he has a thing against you, but I think it’s against all of us”

“Thank you” Hyunjin said with sarcasm.

“Yo, this friday we’re going to Seungmin’s, okay? He already gave me a preview of the place and it’s going to be big” Jisung said excitedly. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna go” Hyunjin said.

His three friends went silent.

“Excuse me?” Changbin asked. 

“Yeah, I’m failing literature way too hard and without a reason. And, I don’t know about you, guys, but I really want to get my degree. And literature won’t stop me from getting that” He told his friends. 

“But mate, it’s literally one party” Changbin said.

“No, it’s one party every week” he told him. “Maybe that’s why I’m failing. Because I’m not trying hard enough”

“Well, it won't be the same without you there, mate, but it’s your call” Chan smiled slightly.

“Thank you!” Hyunjin said with a high pitched voice. 

Mr. Jackson’s unwanted presence walked into the room and Hyunjin sighed in disdain. He wanted earth to swallow him up already. 

“Okay, class, I’m handing you today your assignments from last class. I am… disappointed to say the least” the professor said and Hyunjin inwardly rolled his eyes. “Only two people passed, and that’s Mr. Lee, and Miss Y/L/N. Congratulations” the man smiled at two students who were in front of him. 

Hyunjin frowned. He had to get the number of either of those people to help him pass this fucking subject. 

“Oh, of course Minho passed. Ugh” Jisung faked a gag.

Hyunjin smiled. “What’s the matter?”

“See that guy over there?” he pointed at a guy with slight orange hair going on black, talking to a girl. “That’s my ex”

“Oh God, that’s your ex! Minho goes here? Since when? How did I not notice?”

“Yeah”

“Fuck…”

Jisung frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“I was going to ask him to tutor me, since I suck” 

“No! No, no, no. You won’t ask Minho to help you. No way. Ask Y/N, his friend” Jisung shook his head. 

Hyunjin frowned. “O…kay” he said slowly. “I will. Y/N… I think I know her. Her hair��� sounds familiar”

“Yeah, we went to high school together” Jisung replied.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened. “That’s Y/N?” he asked. 

“Yeah” He nodded. 

“I didn’t… I didn’t even know she went here” he said with a confused tone.

“Why do you sound disappointed?”

“I… okay, I used to have a crush on her when we were in like… third year? And, well, apparently she didn’t like me” Hyunjin shook his head.

“You’re lucky I liked you in secondary. You were an ass” 

“Yeah…”

Hyunjin straightened up his position when Mr. Jackson walked towards him and put the paper on his desk. 

“Disappointed in you, Mr. Hwang” Mr. Jackson told him.

When he walked away, Hyunjin turned around. “He always says that” Hyunjin spat. 

Jisung smiled. “I actually got a D this time”

“Yeah, I got an F like always”

Jisung pressed his lips together. “I really think you should consider talking to Y/N to help you” he told him. “She’s a good girl. And she’s super smart”

Hyunjin chewed on his lip. “Okay…”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You put your paper away inside your bag and smiled at your friends. 

“Okay, I am, like, so jealous you guys passed” Jeongin sighed. “I’ve only passed two of his assignments. And this is like the eighth!”

You smiled with a giggle. “It’s only reading and rereading the texts. This one was really tough. I’m lucky I got a C” you said. 

“Yeah, I got a C-” Minho said. 

“Yeah, sorry, why was Jisung staring at us?” Felix asked, nudging his forehead towards him. 

You all turned around and saw Jisung talking to his friend. 

Minho sighed. “I don’t even wanna know, honestly” he shook his head. “I can’t believe he’s still friends with that asshole, my God”

“Who? Hyunjin?” Felix asked.

“Yeah”

“He’s… not that bad” Felix scratched the back of his head sheepishly. 

“Yeah, no. He’s horrible” you sighed. “He was always staring at me with a scowl on his face and being witness of his bully friends back in high school”

“Thank God those fuckers didn’t apply to this one” Jeongin sighed. 

“Yeah. Unfortunately we got the worst. The witnesses” Minho said. “And of course, because the universe couldn’t have conspired enough against me, my ex”

“I still don’t know why you guys broke up” Felix said.

“Yeah, me neither” Jeongin shook his head. 

“I just got tired of the people surrounding him. And the way they influenced him. He was one thing with me and a totally different one when he was with his friends. It was like he was embarrassed of me or something. Like they didn’t know he was gay” Minho explained.

“But they knew” You deadpanned.

“Yeah” Minho nodded. “And cherry on top, he cheated on me”

“He did?” Felix asked.

“Yeah” 

“That’s horrible… well, good riddance, right?” You smiled at him.

Minho forced a smile, “Yeah… good riddance” he chuckled, unsure. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You grabbed your stuff and quickly pushed it inside your bag as soon as the bell rang. 

“See you next week, class. Don’t forget to bring your assignments” Mr. Jackson said and left. 

“Hey, do you want to go to the coffee shop next to our dorms?” Jeongin asked next to you.

“Y-“

“Hey, Y/N” a masculine voice said behind you. 

You frowned as you turned around, only to find none other than Hwang Hyunjin in front of you.

You arched your eyebrows. “Uh, hello?” you said unsure. 

“Can I- Can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked, fidgeting with his hands.

The man was nervous. 

Strange. 

You turned around and looked at your friends. 

“Call us if you need us, Y/N” Felix politely smiled at Hyunjin and winked at you.

“Yeah, you guys go. I’ll catch up” you nodded. 

“Okay…” Minho said unsure, grabbing Jeongin’s arm and pulling him with the rest. 

You turned around and looked at Hyunjin. “…What’s up?” you asked.

“I- I was just wondering… you know, since you’re basically rocking this subject and well- you and Minho are the only ones who passed the last assignment… I was- just… wondering if you could- I don’t know, tutor me or- or something?” he asked. 

You snorted, unable to help yourself. “I didn’t know you knew my name”

“Yeah, I do. We- we went to high school together” he frowned. “Why?”

“Well, you basically ignored me in high school” you shrugged. “Figured we aren’t as cool as your wolf pack over there” you nudged your head towards his friends. 

Jisung smiled and waved, while Chan and Changbin made a peace sign with a nervous smile. 

Hyunjin sighed. “Yeah- well, I was an asshole in high school”

“I know”

Hyunjin inwardly winced. “So… about tutoring…”

You snorted and grabbed your stuff. “Goodbye, Hyunjin” you said and left the classroom.

Hyunjin stood there, watching you walk away while his friends snorted and laughed. 

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen a girl reject you” Chan laughed while Changbin cackled with his infamous laugh. 

“Ha-ha” Hyunjin said humourlessly. “That wasn’t funny”

“Oh, it was” Jisung laughed. “She literally laughed in your face”

“I’m gonna fail literature and never get my degree. I wanna die” he whined dramatically as he plopped down on the chair. 

Changbin rolled his eyes. “Be persistent mate. Come on. You have that charm and effect on people. Use it”

Hyunjin opened his eyes and looked at Changbin. “You say I should- like- follow her around and-“

“Yeah” Changbin nodded. 

“I never beg” Hyunjin shook his head. 

“Well, mate, you gotta push your ego aside if you wanna pass literature” Chan shrugged. 

Hyunjin nodded. “Yeah, I know. The girl hates me though”

“I wouldn’t blame her” Jisung shook his head. 

“Why’s that?” Changbin said. 

“Well, me and Hyunjin were with the popular group. Who were straight up bullies” Jisung explained. 

“You guys bullied Y/N?” Chan asked, his eyes widened. 

“No!” Hyunjin said loudly. “No, we didn’t. I don’t want to talk about high school. It’s been ages. Let’s just… move on”

“Okay…” Chan said unsure. 

“Well, what are you gonna do, Hyunjin?” Changbin asked. 

Hyunjin sighed and looked at the ceiling. “I think I’m gonna continue asking her”

“Yeah, figured” Jisung nodded.

Hyunjin looked at him with a frown. “Why’s that?”

“Well, you couldn’t stop staring at her ass, for all that matters”

“Hey! I’m not attracted to her, and I’m definitely not sleeping with her” Hyunjin whined. 

“Sure” Jisung nodded with a smirk. “So, about Seungmin’s…”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You opened the door of the café and walked inside with a scowl. 

Minho looked up from their usual table and his eyes softened. “What’s up, Y/N?” he asked you. 

You sat down with a huff and left your bag hanging on the back of the chair. “Nothing. This fucker just asked me to tutor him”

“The audacity” Minho rolled his eyes. 

“Why’s that bad?” Felix asked, sipping on his iced tea. 

“Because he’s literally the guy who made my high school life miserable!” you whined. “My life and Minho’s life”

“Oh, well, maybe he’s- you know- changed” Felix tried. 

“Could be. The guy was staring at you like he was terrified” Jeongin said. “It was laughable”

“Maybe because he knows what he did” Minho added. “Typical bully attitude to get what he wants”

“I don’t know. He looked weird, though” You confessed. “Like he was nervous. He was all fidgety and awkward about it”

Felix hummed and looked down at his beverage. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It will be fine”

“Yeah, thank you, guys” You smiled at your friends.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. You got us” Jeonging winked, poking your cheek with his finger, making you laugh. 

“I know. That’s why I love you guys” you smiled. 

An hour passed and you and your friends were having fun, as Jeongin was telling you about his date last night. 

“And then she laughs in my face, like- fully in front of me and I feel the stink in her breath. She had ordered ravioli with a cream cheese sauce that was showered with garlic” Jeongin said while you all cackled. 

“Oh my God, and what did you do?” You asked. 

“Nothing, I just contained my breath in and nodded at everything she said” Jeongin said. “Near death experience”

“And do you plan on texting her or something?” Minho asked.

“No, I mean, she was really cute but other than her attempted murder, we did not connect in the talking at all” Jeongin shook his head with a frown. “No way” 

“Okay, let’s all look down or look like we’re in a deep conversation” Minho said, suddenly.

“What?” Felix asked, confused.

“Hyunjin just walked in” Minho replied. 

Your eyes widened and Minho grabbed your arm when you were about to turn your head. “No, no, don’t turn around” he said, in front of you. “Okay, so my mother just died and we’re like- mourning or something”

“Good grief” Felix shook his head, biting on a muffin. 

Hyunjin, as soon as he stepped in, started whipping his head around, trying to look for you. He saw the back of your head while you were engrossed in a conversation with your friends. He took a deep breath in and tried to collect all the courage he could muster and walked towards you.

“Oh, no, he’s coming” Felix whispered.

“Act normal” Jeongin said.

“Hey, Y/N” Hyunjin said standing in front of you.

You looked up and blinked. “Hyunjin, what are you doing here?” 

“Man, my mother just died. Could you have some-”

“Minho!” Felix said, slapping his arm. 

Hyunjin looked at them curiously and you huffed. “Don’t mind them. What’s up?”

“I know you said no already, and you probably don’t like me at all but I seriously need your help” Hyunjin pleaded. “You see, I need to pass literature to get my degree. Please, I’ll literally pay you, whatever you want”

You chuckled and you moved your head to the side. “Hyunjin, are you serious right now? You’ve ignored my existence since we’ve met and now, when you need something, you acknowledge me?” you snort at the end. “Sorry, not happening”

Hyunjin let out a whine and out of literally nowhere, the man dropped to his knees.

“Oh my God” Felix mumbled and looked away.

“Y/N… I’m begging you. Please, please, please. I’ll literally clean your dorm, pay for your food, I’ll buy you whatever you want, just please, please tutor me” he asked, giving you puppy eyes.

You looked into his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

“Okay…”

“What?” Minho asked, in a high-pitched voice.

“Yeah, what?” Hyunjin asked, surprised as well.

“I’ll tutor you, just please get up. You’re embarrassing me in front of everyone” You said with a grimace.

Hyunjin quickly scrambled to his feet and nodded. “Okay, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here’s my number” he said, grabbing a pen and scribbling the number into a piece of paper and handing it to you. “Text me. We can meet tomorrow”

“Yeah, okay” you nodded slowly. 

“Thank you, again, Y/N. I really appreciate it a lot. Sorry for bothering” Hyunjin said and quickly walked away.

You looked at him with a frown as he walked out of the café and then turned to look at Minho who was glaring at you. 

“What?” you asked him.

“I’m just gonna ask one simple question. Are you playing stupid? Or were you just born with it?” 

“Oh my God-”

“You just accepted tutoring the devil incarnate, Y/N!” Minho said dramatically.

“Did you see how he was begging on his knees? I don’t want to be as cruel as he was” you argued.

“The guy is the worst, Y/N. Come on” Minho insisted.

“I don’t know, Min. He really needed help” Felix tried. “I think it was sweet of you to give in” 

“Thank you, Lix” you said sincerely. 

“What if he just wants to sleep with you?” Minho asked.

“God, Minho! Hyunjin does not want to sleep with me” you laughed. 

“Yo, why not?” Jeongin asked. “You would make a hot couple”

Minho faked a gag. “Please no”

“You’re into guys, wouldn’t you say he’s hot?” Jeongin asked.

“Yeah, he sure is. But he’s a horrible person so no. I don’t like him” Minho spat, shaking his head in disapproval.

“Okay. Why don’t we all calm down, hm?” Felix asked. “Y/N’s gonna be tutoring Hyunjin and we’re all going to be supportive friends and be there for her if she needs anything”

“Thank you” you mouthed and he winked. 

Minho sighed and looked away. 

“Just trust me. You know I wouldn’t do anything” you told him.

“Y/N, it’s not you I’m worried about. I know you’re not going to do anything. But him? Yeah, I don’t trust him” he said. Felix gave him a look and he let out a breath. “But… I’ll give it the benefit of a doubt”

“Great” Felix clapped. “Everything’s solved. Can we please go back to talking about Jeongin’s horrible date with the garlic breath girl and all?”

“Yeah” you nodded. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You dropped your bag on the chair next to the door of your room and sighed. 

“Wanna order take out?” Minho asked from the kitchen. 

“Yeah, chinese, please” you called out.

“On it!”

You dropped your body on the bed and felt the purring of one of Minho’s cats next to your head. 

“Hey, Dori” you cooed, brushing your fingers across the cat’s soft fur. “You missed me?” you asked and the kitty purred. “Yeah, you did” 

You grabbed your phone from your jean back pocket and the piece of paper with Hyunjin’s number fell out. 

Sighing, you picked it up and after a while of thinking, you added him into your contacts. 

Y/N: hey, it’s y/n

You texted him and left the phone on the bed, to stare at Dori.

The phone vibrated and you grabbed it.

Hyunjin: oh hiii

You frowned. “A hi with three ‘I’s?” you asked yourself in a whisper. 

Hyunjin: what’s up?

“What’s up? God, we’re just gonna be having tutoring sessions. You don’t wanna know how I’ve been” you harshly whispered to yourself.

You: fine. Do you wanna meet tomorrow at the café me and my friends were having a hangout until you interrupted-

You sighed and pressed the delete button. 

You couldn’t send him that.

You: i’m ok. you wanna meet at the same coffee shop tomorrow after english?

Hyunjin: yeah, i’m okay with it.

You: great. 

You left the phone on the bed and went to help Minho while he put on the plates and silverware on the table.

“Everything okay?” Minho asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I was just texting Hyunjin” you told him. “I told him he could meet at the coffee shop from today”

“The one where he rudely interrupted us?”

“Yeah, the same one” you laughed.

He smiled and then looked down. “I’m sorry if I was harsh with you today” he said quietly.

“Oh, don’t worry, Min. I know you’re just looking out for me” 

“I know. I just… we suffered a lot in high school and- well, I don’t wanna go through that again. Neither of us” he shook his head.

“Aww, are you sweet talking to me?” you cooed.

Minho dropped his soft expression and rolled his eyes. “Man, you ruined the moment. I hate you”

“No, you love me” you said and wrapped your arms around him.

“Get off” Minho said.

“You love me” you said louder.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever” he said. 

The bell rang and he looked at the door. “That’s the take out. Be right back” 

“Go ahead. I love you too”

“Shut up”

You giggled as you made your way back to your room and grabbed your phone. Your heartbeat started beating faster when you saw the notification from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin: see you tomorrow, y/n :)

“Fuck, you stupid heart. Stop doing that!” 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You sighed as you tapped your nails on the wooden table from the café as you waited for Hyunjin. 

He was 10 minutes late and you were so close to grabbing your stuff and fleeting out of there. 

Suddenly, your eyes caught his figure being followed by a girl who was looking at him with a smile while he had a frown on his face. He said something, making the girl’s smile drop and walk away embarrassed. 

You looked down and felt a weird feeling in your stomach.

Hyunjin, with a sigh, sat down on the booth bench. “Hey, I’m so, so sorry Y/N” he said, sounding tired.

You didn’t even have the heart to say something rude to him because he was late. “No worries” you breathed out. “Did something happen?”

“Oh, uh… no, it’s just this-”

“Girl?”

Hyunijn looked at you, wide-eyed and then let out a laugh. “Yeah, kind of”

“You slept with her and she wants more but you don’t want more?” you asked, feeling that curious, annoying thing on your stomach.

Hyunjin shook his head. “No, she’s uh… my ex-girlfriend” he said.

“Oh…”

“Yeah” he nodded. “We broke up a long while ago but- well, I broke up with her but she didn’t take it well”

“How long ago was that?”

“Four months ago”

“Four?” you asked and he nodded. “Fuck, that’s a long time”

“I know” he sighed. 

You chewed on your lip. “Okay, we can start now. I’m sorry I asked, I just- well, you looked kind of bothered” you said.

“No, it’s okay. Y/N, thank you” he said with a little smile.

Those damn butterflies kicked inside your stomach and you inwardly rolled your eyes. You hummed and looked down at your computer. 

“Right! So, the next assignment is to choose a sonnet from Shakespeare and analyze it. That means we’ll have to search, read some and well, choose the one we like the best” you told him.

“Oh God, I hate this already” he said, pressing his forehead against the table.

You giggled. “It’s not that bad. I collected a bunch for you to pick” 

He pulled his head up quickly and smiled. “Really?” 

“Yeah” you nodded.

“You’re the best” he smiled wider. 

Fuck, that’s a pretty smile- FOCUS. “It’s nothing” you scoffed with a little smile too.

“No, really. It’s a lot. Let me see” he said and you pushed your computer towards him.

As he started scrolling through the different sonnets, his eyes couldn’t help but wander towards your face. You were looking out the window while sipping your pink drink with a sense of tranquility, something that was definitely lacking in his life. Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel his heart hammering in his chest as he admired your pretty face. He paid attention to the way you sucked on the straw of your drink and he bit his lip. 

You were so attractive to him and you had no idea. 

How didn’t you see it? How didn’t you notice him staring at you in high-

“You picked one yet?” you asked him, turning your head to face him.

He blinked a couple of times and nodded. “Y-yeah” he lied. “I picked one” 

“Let me see” you said, grabbing the computer. Your eyes lit up and smiled at him, making him feel a flutter in his chest, something he hadn’t felt till now. “Wow, Sonnet 116. Good choice. You are one romantic guy, never thought of that” 

His eyes narrowed, confusedly and then nodded. “Yeah… I guess you didn’t know that about me, huh?” he joked.

Hyunjin was in fact a very romantic guy himself, he loved cliché stuff and, whenever he painted, he tried to symbolize love as much as he could. He would paint red roses very often, thinking they symbolize an act of love, sensualism and mysticism. Hyunjin loved romantic comedies and he always cried with them.

But that was a secret he kept well hidden.

“Well, this one you picked is very beautiful” you said with a smile and he couldn’t help but reciprocate it. “Let Me Not to The Marriage of True Minds is one of his most famous works” 

Hyunjin immediately took out his computer and started typing whatever you said. 

“We can read it together” you said, pushing the computer so he could see it.  

He nodded and you started reading some lines and explaining them to him.

Hyunjin stared at you attentively and tried to focus, he really did. But his stupid brain and heart had teamed up to sabotage this study session, because they were focused on you. You, you, you. Then, his eyes couldn’t help but go down as he took in what you were wearing. 

Fuck, how did he not notice? You were wearing a black top that had a low cut and it gave a good view of your breasts, as your arms pushed them together due to your inclined position on the table. His mind started racing with different dirty thoughts of what he’d do to you if they weren’t in a crowded café. Hyunjin noticed you were wearing a lace black bra and it made him wanna grab-

“He’s basically saying that true love is not changeable, no matter the length of time” you explained, bringing him back to earth.

Hyunjin quickly typed, trying to convince you he was paying attention. 

“He is so certain about his definition of love that, if proven wrong, then he was sure he had never loved anyone” you finished.

“Wow…” Hyunjin said. “That’s… beautiful”

“I know” you giggled. “Well, we have to, basically, do an analysis of it”

“Okay, how do we start?”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

Hyunjin pressed the point button on his laptop and sighed. “Fucking finally” he said.

“It wasn’t that bad, you gotta admit that” you smiled.

He had to admit, he did enjoy literature after all. “Yeah, it was actually interesting. Maybe I should’ve asked you for help a long time ago” he confessed.

“Well, that means you would’ve acknowledged my existence, which you didn’t until… yesterday” you said with a shrug.

That’s a lie, Hyunjin thought. “I… I’m sorry” he said and he mentally slapped himself.

“It’s okay. I’m used to it. Really” you said.

He frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that. He was about to open his mouth when you cursed.

“Fuck! Look at the hour, it’s almost eight” you cursed.

Hyunjin looked out the window and noticed how dark it had gotten. “Right, wow. I didn’t even notice” he mumbled as he looked at his phone. 

“Yeah, me neither” you chuckled, putting all your stuff away.

Hyunjin frowned as he didn’t like the fact that this session was over and you’d probably go back to ignoring each other like you did. 

“Hey, uh… do you wanna go back to my place? Like… to hang out” he said.

You arched your eyebrows. “Why?”

“Well, to be honest, I could pay you back with some take out. Whatever you want. My roommate, Chan, is out for the day with his girlfriend so I'm gonna be home alone” Hyunjin explained. 

You leaned your head to the side.  “Are you inviting me because you feel bad for me or because you don’t wanna be alone?” 

None, I just wanna be with you. “Both, I guess?”

You chuckled and looked away. “Hyunjin-”

“Please?” he asked.

You looked at him again and then sighed. “Fine. But we’re ordering chinese”

“Deal” he smiled, satisfied.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

“She did that?” You asked him as soon as you and him walked inside his dorm.

“Yep. And then she basically threatened Lily, my friend’s girlfriend, to stay away from me because she was jealous” Hyunijn explained.

“Oh my God” you mumbled. “That’s borderline obsessive”

“Yeah, I know” he said, dropping his stuff on the couch, “You can drop your stuff  and sit here, I’ll order take out” Hyunjin whipped his phone out and started clicking on the delivery app.

You did the same and noticed there were a few notifications from your group chat with your friends.

<Besties!!>

Min 🐈: hey, you alive bestie? 

Min 🐈: did you kill hyunjin? I’d be delighted if your answer was yes. I’d even help you bury the body

Innie 💛: min shut up

Min 🐈: what?

Lixie☀️: i think you’re overreacting a little

Min 🐈: i think i’m not

You chuckled and quickly typed your answer back.

You: I’m okay, you guys. calm down!! 

You: i’m at his place.

Innie 💛: excuse me?

Lixie☀️: say what?

Min 🐈: oh my god, I think i’m gonna faint

You: shut up. he invited me and ordered chinese as my payment, i happily accepted bc u know i’d never decline chinese 😀

You sighed. You knew Minho would never approve of this, he’d scold the hell out of you. 

Lixie☀️: okay, take care y/n. 

Innie 💛: pls text us if anything happens!

Min 🐈: yeah that

You: i will, thx! love u guys

“Okay, it’s on its way. Want a drink or something?” Hyunjin brought you back to reality and you quickly turned off your phone.

“Oh, uh… what do you have?” you asked him.

“I have wine… coke, water”

“I could have some wine” you smiled.

“Great” he said and took it out from the cupboards. 

You walked towards the kitchen and sat down on the stools, feeling your hands get sweaty from the nervousness you felt. 

“So… did your friends roast me via text?” Hyunjin asked. You pulled your face back and he chuckled. “I know you were texting them. You looked really stressed out explaining this situation to them”

You sighed and looked away. “Yeah, uh… I think it’s not news that they don’t like you” you chuckled humourlessly.

He nodded. “I don’t think you do either” he said. He hoped that was untrue.

“Well. I had my reasons” you said.

Hyunjin frowned. “Had?”

“Yeah, well, I think you weren’t just as bad as I thought” you confessed.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you did ignore me in high school” you told him. “And you were friends with the people that made my life a living hell, while you stood there, watching”

He was about to say something but the bell rang. “That must be the delivery guy. Be right back”

He walked away from the kitchen and you put your head in your hands. What were you doing?

Hyunjin came back really fast and he placed the food on the plates, wordlessly, while you just stared.

Great, you ruined the whole mood. 

You started eating and the silence was so loud, you wanted to fleet out the door. 

“I didn’t ignore you” Hyunjin suddenly spoke. 

You looked up and gave him a confused look. “What?”

“I didn’t ignore you. In high school, I mean” he repeated himself. “I was just hanging out with the wrong crowd, and I admit that. I just wanted you to know that I did know you who you were. I didn’t know you attended this uni, though” 

You analyzed his words and expressions. He sounded sincere.

“I… it’s funny, actually. I had a huge crush on you” he said in a small voice.

Now, hold up.

“What?” you asked him with a frown.

“Yeah” he laughed. “You were really cute and just my type. But as I said, I hung out with the wrong crowd and it repelled people like you, fairly. And I wanted to be popular, because it was like a dream and it felt like being powerful but then I understood that it was stupid and there’s literally not a day in which I don’t regret hanging out with those people” 

You blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out if this was a figment of your imagination.

“So, I deeply apologize” Hyunjin said in a small voice. 

You nodded. “Okay… I uh… I did not know that” you chuckled nervously.

“No, you didn’t have to,” he said. “Really, I’m sorry, Y/N. If it… helps or whatever, I did want to defend you when they said those things to you and your friends. I was just too afraid to say anything, honestly”

“Afraid they’d do it to you” you said.

“Yeah, basically”

You hummed and licked your lips, deep in thought. “I had a crush on you too back in high school” you suddenly said.

His eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah” you chuckled. “Even if I hated you, I couldn’t… help it” 

“Wow…”

“I never told anyone about this” you chuckled. “Not even Minho”

“Oh God, he hates me so much” he said, making you laugh.

“Yeah, well, you’re friends with Jisung, so…” you said.

He frowned. “What’s up with him anyways?” 

You looked up in surprise. “Jisung cheated on Minho”

He looked really surprised to hear that. “What?” Hyunjin asked in a high pitched voice. “No, that’s not it. I mean, yeah, he accused him of cheating but Jisung didn’t do that”

“Yeah, well, that’s what Minho told me. Back at prom” you told him.

“Okay, that’s weird because Jisung did not attend prom” he said.

Your eyes widened. “What do you mean he didn’t go to prom? He said he found Jisung kissing other guy” you frowned.

“Yeah, no. Jisung’s grandfather had passed away the day before so he had to travel overnight to his hometown” Hyunjin said.

“Oh wow” you mumbled. “Well, then we’ll have to tell them and maybe…”

“Get them together again?” Hyunjin asked, with a little shrug.

“Yeah” you giggled. “You know, as much as Minho talks about hating him and all… I think he’s never really gotten over Jisung. He still keeps the necklace he gifted him and the collar he made for Soonie” 

“Jisung’s never gotten over him either. He likes to gag at the mention of him but he still has that shirt, you know, the one they shared of-”

“Oh my God, from that Cat Café? The one that says-”

“Cat Café Lovers? Yeah, that one” Hyunjin laughed.

You chuckled and looked away. “Gosh, that was peak cringe from them”

“Yeah”

The chatter continued. You talked about everything and anything. It was like you both needed this talk from a long time ago, and you didn’t know it. 

After eating everything and helping him with the dishes, you looked at the clock and gasped.

“Oh shit, it’s eleven. Fuck” you whispered. “I gotta go, I’m sorry”

“Oh…” Hyunjin said, sounding disappointed. “It’s okay, don’t worry”

He walked you to the door and opened it. He leant against the frame and watched you put your bag on your shoulder and look up at him.

“Thank you for the food… and the talk” you smiled.

“No, thank you. I’ll probably get an A from what we did” he chuckled. “You’re very smart and very kind to help me… even after everything I did”

“It’s alright” you nodded. “And you apologized, so, we’re good”

“Yeah…” he said. “I actually lied” he suddenly blurted.

You frowned. “What… did you lie about?” 

He swallowed nervously and looked down at his feet. “I did like you in high school but… I didn’t stop” 

You pulled your face back in utter shock.

Say what?

“I… seeing you the other day. It made me realize I didn’t stop liking you after all” he chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I thought you were really cute back then but, seeing you now, I see you got even more beautiful and it kills me that I did what I did. And I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable by saying this but- well, I just thought I could tell you because-” he started rambling and you felt a rush of confidence to shut him up.

Shut him up by kissing him. Hard.

Your kiss shocked him but he was quick to grab your waist and pull you against his chest. 

You pulled away and smiled at him. “I like you too, Hyunjin. Even if you suck at literature and stare at my tits the whole time I’m explaining a Shakespeare sonnet to you” you told him against his lips and he blushed. 

“Okay, that’s-”

You giggled and pressed your lips against his once again, making him groan. He pushed you inside his dorm again, closing the door with his foot. Your bag dropped to the floor and he put his hands under your legs, hoisting you up in the air, making you wrap your legs around his waist. 

Hyunjin led you to his room and then laid you down on his bed, all while literally devouring your mouth with his tongue deep, stroking yours. 

He pulled away to kiss your neck and you arched your back, mewling and clawing at his clothed back. 

“Hyunjinnie…” you sighed, combing your fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, Y/N” he whispered, biting on your skin. He pulled away and stared at you. “You are so beautiful”

You smiled shyly at him and when he went to kiss your neck again, you stopped him by pulling his hair. 

“What?” he asked, caressing your waist.

“I just uh…”

“You a virgin?” he asked.

“No! No, no. I uh had my fair share of hook ups… but I am not like the most experienced so please-” he silenced you with a kiss, moving his hands under your shirt.

“You-” kiss. “-are perfect-” kiss. “Don’t worry, baby” he whispered and went to kiss you again. 

Hyunjin pressed kisses on your neck down to your stomach, over your shirt until he reached the belt of your jeans. He made quick work of taking off your shoes and your belt. 

You helped him kick your jeans off and he stared at your panties. 

His eyebrow arched, as he looked at your laced black panties. “I wanted to feel sexy” you shrugged innocently. 

He tugged on your legs, making you yelp. “Come here” he growled, kissing your lips as his hands groped your breasts through your shirt. “I’m gonna eat you out until you’re shaking, is that okay?”

You shivered at his tone and his honesty. “I…”

“Has anyone ever done that before?” he asked. You shook your head ‘no’, giving him doe eyes. “What kind of dumb men did you date? Who wouldn’t want to do that?” 

He didn’t even give you time to answer, because he took off your panties quickly and shoved your legs open. 

“Fuck, look at that. You’re so wet, baby” he whispered, smirking at you.

“God, do something, Hyune” you moaned, arching your back.

He chuckled at your desperation and swiped his fingers over your drenched entrance, making you whimper. He dragged those soaked fingers over his tongue and sucked them clean. As soon as he finished, Hyunjin crawled over you and kissed you, inserting his tongue inside your mouth, making your nails dig into his shoulders as you tasted yourself. 

He pulled away and panted as he looked at you. “Do you feel how good you taste?” he asked and didn’t even give you time to answer as he dropped a quick peck on your lips and went down to eat you out. 

Hyunjin’s tongue dragged over your core over and over and all you could do was hold onto the sheets desperately. He inserted his fingers and scissored them as he licked over your sensitive clit in a circle motion. 

Your hands went to his hair and started pulling, making him mewl against your cunt. You pushed his head against your cunt, making his nose press against your clit as his tongue licked over you. 

He had you cum on your tongue two times and then, he pressed a kiss over your pubic bone when he was finished, definitely leaving your legs shaking in pleasure, just like he had promised. He wiped his face with his sleeve and then grabbed the back of his tee, pulling it over his head, letting you admire his toned body.

Your hands immediately brushed over his torso and his abs contracted, feeling the goosebumps run all over his body. He pressed his chest against yours and kissed you again, really soft and sweet. 

“How was that?” he whispered against your lips.

“Fucking mindblowing” you whispered, making him smirk.

“Can I take this off?” he asked, fidgeting with the end of your shirt.

You smirked. “I think you tortured yourself long enough at the café staring at me. Go ahead” you giggle.

He giggled back and pecked your lips and then pressed a kiss to your cleavage. “I couldn’t help it” he murmured and then grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head. He stared at your black lacy bra, his hand going under you to grab at the clasp.

You didn’t let him, arching your back at taking it off yourself, exposing your tits to him. 

His hands immediately grabbed them and pushed his face towards them, enveloping one of your nipples inside his mouth and sucking. You arched your back and moaned, gripping his hair tightly with your fingers. He sucked one and then another, then, pushed them together and licked over them.

“Fuck, Hyunjin, I need you to fuck me” you whispered.

“Okay, okay, fuck” he said, giving one of your tits one last suck and then leaned up on his knees, trying to take off his belt as fast as he could. 

You helped him kick off his jeans and saw his erection straining against the fabric of his Calvin Klein’s. It was big already and when he hooked a finger on the hem and pulled them down, your eyes widened. 

His dick slapped against his stomach and his hand went down to stroke himself. 

He knelt on the bed and pushed himself to brace himself over you while looking for a condom. Hyunjin took it out and put it on quickly, and then went back to brush the tip over your entrance, making your nails dig against his forearms. 

One of his big hands gripped your thigh and the other one held his cock to push it inside you. Once he did, you arched your back and he let out a choked moan. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, Y/N. And so wet, shit” he whispered against your neck and then he kissed the hot, sweaty skin. 

“Fuck, Hyune” you moaned. 

“Yeah, keep chanting my name like that” he whispered, moving his hips as he hit your cervix over and over. 

You let out a little yelp every time he hit that sweet spot and one of his hands went to one of your breasts, brushing over your nipple and pinching it every now and then.

He licked over your ear and pulled on your earlobe. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” he whispered. “So fucking long, baby” 

You put your leg over his shoulder, making him go deeper and pulling a moan from both of you.

His fingers found your clit, and as he rubbed it in a circle motion, it made you get closer and closer towards your orgasm.

You bit at his neck and moaned. “I think I’m gonna come, Hyune”

“Yeah?” he groaned. “Fucking come, then”

Your cunt gripped him tightly, making him groan and thrust even harder. You arched your back against Hyunjn’s chest and came around his length, feeling your vision go white and like you were about to pass out from the amount of pleasure the man on top of you was making you feel.

You barely noticed how he was losing control, as his thrust became sloppier. With a choked moan, he emptied himself inside the condom, his hands gripping the mattress tightly and then with a sigh, he collapsed on top of you, completely spent and satisfied.

Your arms wrapped around him tightly as he panted against your neck. 

“That was-”

“Amazing, fucking amazing” he whispered against your neck. 

You giggled and combed your fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp. 

Hyunjin lifted his head and smiled at you. “You are so pretty”

“Thank you. You are very pretty, too” you said shyly and he blushed. “You blushing?”

He let his head drop against your chest and mumbled, “Shut up”

“You definitely are” you giggled.

“Shut up!”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

After he let you use your shower (in which he may or may not have sneaked in and ate you out against the tiles), you changed into one of his shirts and wandered around his room. You saw the canvases that laid on the desk and smiled as you saw the amazing drawings and paintings he did.

“Wow… you did this?”  you asked him over your shoulder.

“Yeah” he said shyly, brushing the towel over his wet hair. “They’re not the greatest-”

“They’re not? I think they’re museum-worthy, are you kidding?” you chuckled. “The way you painted that rose, wow” 

He chuckled and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you. “I feel so at peace with you, Y/N” he whispered against your neck.

You smiled and put your hands over his arms. “Me too, Hyunjin” you whispered, kissing his skin. “Me too”

“You have practice tomorrow at the studio right?” he asked. 

“Yeah, we have that super difficult R&B choreo” you sighed. 

“Really?” he asked. 

“Yeah”

Hyunjin started thinking about a little something in silence and then spoke up. “Do you want me to change classes?” 

You frowned and looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“So that we can practice together. Maybe that’s the reason I never saw you here. Because we never got to practice together” 

You let out a little laugh. “You’re crazy, Hyune” 

“Yeah, crazy about you” he said and kissed your cheek with a loud kiss sound. 

You giggled and shook your head. “Oh, fine. Change classes”

“Yay” he whispered. “What do you usually wear for practice?” 

“Leggings…”

“Oh, it’s gonna be amazing, I’m so sure of it. I’m gonna have so much fun” he smirked.

“Hyunjin!”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You and Hyunjin woke up with a loud buzzing noise coming from the night stand. 

Hyunjin from behind you groaned and pressed his face harder against your neck. “What’s that, babe?”

“It’s just my phone, hun” you whispered as you grabbed it and looked at the ID of the call. “Hello, Min?”

“Where are you, bitch?”

“Huh?” you asked, surprised at his tone.

“You don’t come home, then you don’t show up at history, and you’re not here at the cafeteria” Minho said.

Your eyes widened and you sat up, looking at the hour. 10:04.

“Shit!” you yelled. “Hyunjin, we overslept!” you yelled, grabbing at his arm and shaking him.

“Hm?” he asked, confused.

“Hyunjin, wake up! We need to get to my dorm to change and then go to the studio! Come on!” you yelled, jumping off the bed and searching for your clothes frantically. “Where the hell did you throw my socks?” 

Hyunjin took his sweet time sitting up on the bed and stretching his muscles. He scratched his eyes and blinked a couple of times. His head turned to the clock on the nightstand and his eyes widened. 

“Holy shit, it’s 10 AM” he said, and jumped off the bed.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” you yelled back as you ran towards the bathroom to brush your teeth in your bra, jeans and only one sock on your feet.

Hyunjin quickly dressed while you brushed your teeth. He combed his hair with his hands quickly and saw you get out of the bathroom, looking around for your shirt.

“What are you searching for?” he asked you.

“My shirt! I don’t know where you threw it. And my socks” you said, looking everywhere.

“Here, use one of mine” Hyunjin tossed you a shirt. “You look better in them” 

You grabbed it and looked at it. “Thank you” you said in a small, shy voice and quickly pulled it over your frame. “My socks” 

“Oh, here” he said. “I found them” he smiled.

“Thanks”

Hyunjin grabbed his stuff and smiled at you again. “Let’s go?”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

You and Hyunjin ran through the hallways, panting.

“To the right!” you yelled and quickly turned with Hyunjin following suit. 

“There you are!” Minho suddenly appeared in front of you just as you turned the corner, with Felix and Jeongin behind him.

“FUCK! Minho!” you yelled. “You scared me!” 

He was staring at you and Hyunjin with a frown. “Okay… please tell me that you are wearing his shirt because he clumsily dropped wine on it and those marks on your neck are just mosquito bites” he said calmly.

Your eyes widened and quickly slapped your hand over your neck, as you looked at Hyunjin with a glare. He just shrugged.

“I think I’m gonna faint” Minho said, grabbing his heart, dramatically.

Felix rolled his eyes and sighed. “Let’s go, guys. We have practice in two minutes” he said with a smile.

You followed them and Hyunjin did too. “I’m gonna ask my professor to… do what I told you, okay?” he asked, grabbing your shoulder.

“Okay” you nodded. 

Hyunjin pressed a kiss to your lips and walked away the other way. You stared at him and then your eyes darted to your friends who were wide-eyed staring at you. 

“No comments, okay?” 

“Oh, no, you come here and tell everything!” Jeongin giggled excitedly.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

After practice, you sat with your friends at the café, telling them everything.

“It was like I had been wrong about him my whole life” you told them, after you finished. 

“Wow, Y/N, he sounds like he really likes you” Felix smiled.

“He does” you nodded. “Hell, he liked me in high school? I did not expect to hear that” 

“Yeah, no one did” Jeongin shook his head.

You looked at Minho and sighed. “Could you be supportive about this?” you pleaded your friend, pressing your hands together.

“What happened with the I’m not gonna sleep with him, he doesn’t wanna sleep with me thing? You bumped your head against a wall and forgot about it?” Minho asked.

“No, we just had a really good conversation in which he apologized and well… I kissed him” You confessed. 

“Hold up, you kissed him?” Felix asked.

“Yep… oh! I have news about Jisung” you gasped, looking at Minho.

He looked up and his eyes widened. “What? What do you know?” he asked.

You smirked. “It was a misunderstanding, Min” you told him. 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course he’d defend his friend. I mean, what can you expect from him?” he laughed, humourlessly.

“He told me that he didn’t even attend prom” you told him and Minho pulled his face back.

“What?”

“Uh… a little context please?” Jeongin asked.

“So, basically, Minho saw what he thought was Jisung at prom kissing some other dude. They fought, they broke up, the end. But Hyunjin told me that Jisung did not go to prom, his grandfather had died the night prior and he had to rush to his hometown” you told him.

“Wow…” Felix said. “That’s- Minho, what do you think?”

“I think I need to go” he said and grabbed his stuff quickly. “Uh, sorry. Thank you for telling me, I’ll be right back” 

You three watched as Minho left the cafeteria in a rush and then looked at each other.

“You think they’ll get back together?” Jeongin asked.

“I think so” you smiled. “They aren’t over each other. At all” 

Felix smiled. “I can’t believe he has refused to date anyone this past year because he is still hung up on him” 

“Yep. Their relationship was really intense and they loved each other very much” you smiled. “Hell, he still keeps lots of things from him at the dorm. I just pretend I don’t see them but they’re there” 

“Like what?” Jeongin asked.

“You know that necklace Minho always wears?” you asked.

“Yeah, the one with the cat- No!” Felix suddenly gasped.

“Yeah, that one was a gift from Jisung” you giggled. “And then the collar that Soonie has, is a gift from Jisung as well”

“Oh my God” Jeongin said. “He talks a lot about hating him and now I realize he does not hate him at all”

“No” you chuckled. 

“Okay, I’m having a deja vu” Felix sighed.

You frowned and turned around, finding Hyunjin running towards you. You couldn’t help the smile that ran across your face. “Hey!” 

“Hi, good news!” he smiled and sat down on the empty seat where Minho was. “Where’s Minho?” he asked, realizing he wasn’t there anymore.

You and your friends smirked. “He went to search for the love of his life” Jeongin said, arching his eyebrows.

Hyunjin looked confused and you just chuckled. “I’ll tell you later”

“Okay” he nodded. “They let me change classes” he smiled.

“Really?” you gasped. “That’s great!” 

“You’re practicing with us?” Felix asked.

“Yeah!”

“That’s awesome, man” Jeongin smiled.

Hyunjin smiled. “I know, I’ll get to practice with my pretty girl” he said, smirking at you.

You groaned when you felt your friends starting to poke at your sides and make annoying noises at you. “Stop it!” You groaned.

“Y/N’s in love” they started singing. 

Hyunjin could only chuckle and shake his head. 

He felt his phone buzz and he took it out. He read the message on his phone and frowned.

You noticed his expression. “What’s up, hun?” you asked.

“Why is Jisung texting me: Minho just kissed me?”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧₊˚.

Two weeks later…

You and Hyunjin sat next to each other and he fiddled with his hands nervously. You put your hand over his fingers and smiled, with a chuckle. 

“Hyunjin, oh my God, calm down! It’s just an assignment” you told him.

“Yeah, I know” he sighed. “It’s just that I need to pass literature or-”

“You won’t get your degree, you told me already, yeah” you giggled. 

Mr. Jackson came over with the assignments and stared at Hyunjin. He gave him a curious look adn then left the paper on his desk with a sigh. 

“Here’s your work, Mr. Hwang. And yours Miss Y/L/N” he said, dropping yours on your table. 

Hyunjin took a look at the paper and gasped. “I got an A!” 

“Me too” you smiled excitedly. “See? I told you you were going to pass”

“I know, but it’s all thanks to you” he said, grabbing your hand and kissing it a couple of times. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you now”

You looked at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You won’t have to wonder now” you said and giggled. 

Your eyes darted to the couple in front of you and sighed.

“Ever since they got back, they won’t stop making out, it’s disgusting” you said to him.

“Hell, we are clingy and we don’t go making out like that” Hyunjin said.

Minho pulled away and looked at him. “That’s a lie, Hwang. Yesterday, I got scarred for life finding you naked on top of my best friend”

“Yeah, I got traumatized too” Jisung said next to him.

“Hey, the happy couples at the back!” Mr. Jackson called out. 

“Sorry” you all four said in unison. 

You and Hyunjin turned your head to the side and found Chan and Changbin mocking you, pretend-kissing each other while making faces. Hyunjin threatened to throw his pencil case while you laughed at them. Hyunjin looked down at your smiley face and his heart doubled its size. Maybe literature hadn’t been so bad after all.

Thank you, literature. 

[lucy90712]

Can you do a Jude Bellingham imagine where his girlfriend is very burnt out from school. They do long distance so she tries to get everything done so she can go spend time with him & watch him play. One day when she lands to watch him play against Barcelona he finds her stress crying in the room alone because she tries to be there for everyone around her but it’s costing her to stress out about getting things in on time. Somehow Jude calms her & they enjoy their day before he plays against Barcelona.

Thank you

-a very stressed & burnt out student

A/n: this is me right now too, I hope things get easier for you soon

WC: 2.0k The last few weeks maybe even months have been so stressful. Ever since I went back to university I have done nothing but go to classes and study. I know it's my final year but I didn't think it would be this difficult but there is just so much to do between assignments for classes and preparations for my dissertation. For the first few weeks I feel like I was coping pretty well but recently it's all just hit me like a truck and now I feel like I'm drowning in books and being suffocated by deadlines. 

To make it all 100 times worse where I chose to go to uni is away from my family and very far from my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong I love it here but at times like this I just wish that I had someone here to tell me it's all going to be ok. I've been really missing not just my family but my boyfriend Jude as well, I haven't seen Jude since before I came back to uni which was at the end of august and it's been killing me. I also haven't been able to talk to him as much as I would like as I've been really busy and he's been busy too with his move to Real Madrid and having to get used to living and playing over there. 

These last few months have been hard on our relationship, even though we've been long distance for a few years now we have never gone this long without seeing each other and the fact that we haven't talked as much hasn't helped. Finally we are going to see each other though as I'm flying over to see him play and just to spend a few days with him which has got me through the last few days. In order to be able to go and see Jude I have been working extra hard to get my work done as I want to actually spend time with him which I can't do if I have assignments to do but it's been difficult. All week I've only left my apartment to go to classes and I've pulled far too many all nighters but I've got quite a lot done so I guess it's somewhat worth it although I still have some things to do. 

I had an alarm set to wake me up before my flight but it wasn't needed as I'd been awake all night packing and doing uni work. The worst part was despite all my hard work I had to pack a few of my textbooks and my laptop as I didn't manage to finish everything in time. I tried to put that behind me though as I got to the airport because I still want to enjoy my time with Jude and if I'm stressed and feeling down then I'm not going to make the most of the time which I really do want to do. Jude has been telling me all week how much he's been looking forward to today he promised me that we was going to get up early to pick me up from the airport before he has to go to training which is how I know he's serious as he hates getting up in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After a few hours in the air I landed on Spanish soil and somehow I immediately felt a bit more relaxed as I knew it was only a matter of time until I would be in Jude's arms which is exactly what I need. As I got off the plane I text Jude to let him know I had landed which he answered right away telling me he was already waiting for me in the arrivals lounge with a disguise on so he didn't get recognised. Knowing he was waiting for me made me walk a bit quicker to collect my bag and once it was in sight I grabbed it and ran towards where Jude would be waiting for me. 

It took me a minute to find Jude but eventually I saw him stood with a hat and sunglasses on which didn't offer much of a disguise but he wasn't surrounded by people so clearly it does something. Once he saw me coming he swiftly made his way over until he was close enough to pick me up and nearly kill me with how tightly he held me. It felt so good to be in his arms again and smell his cologne it made me feel like I was home again which is exactly what I've been needing. Jude held onto me for a good while before he took my bag in one hand and my hand in the other leading me out to his car which was parked outside. Once we got in the car Jude leaned straight over the centre console and smashed his lips onto mine which led to us making out for a bit too long so we had to rush back to Jude's place on he could drop me off before going to his training session. 

Once Jude had left I went and made myself some breakfast as I didn't have time to eat before I left and I had to make myself a cup of tea because despite being in Spain I'm still British and we can't go a day without a cup of tea. Jude knows me well enough that he had brought a new pack of my favourite tea and put it on a shelf he knows I can reach along with a mug which he had clearly just brought for me. I enjoyed my cup of tea before I took my bag upstairs to go and unpack. To my surprise the room was quite clean and Jude had cleaned out one of his draws for me, well not quite there was a few hoodies and t shirts in there still but he left me a note telling me I can wear them so they are mine now. Of course I had to put a hoodie on before starting to unpack all of my stuff. 

I unpacked most of my stuff pretty quickly but then I got to the bottom of my suitcase and saw just how many text books and folders I had to pack. Seeing it made the realisation hit me that I still have so much work to do and once again all of the stresses started weighing down on me like it was physically crushing me. All week I've been so deep into work mode I bottled up all my emotions but now they are all coming out at once and for some reason I can't stop crying. It's like all of the pressure and stress has finally reached the surface and the mental breakdown all my friends warned was coming has finally arrived. I've never felt so overwhelmed in my life and I just don't know how to cope all I do know is that I need to get myself together before Jude gets back as I don't want to worry him plus I want to enjoy our time together. 

My attempts to calm myself down didn't go well if anything I just got more overwhelmed and cried more. I was so in my own world that I completely lost track of time so when I heard the front door close and Jude call my name I panicked. As his footsteps got closer to the bedroom I desperately tried to wipe the tears from my face but then I realised my eyes would still be all red so I just put the hood on the hoodie up to try and cover my face.

"Hi darling do you need any help unpacking?" Jude asked a he walked in 

"N-no I'm f-fine" I sniffled

"Babe what's wrong?" He asked clearly concerned 

"Nothing" I said 

"I know you're lying to me I can hear you sniffling what's made you so upset you know you can tell me anything" he said trying to make me open up

"I'm sorry I'm just stressed I've got so much work to do for uni I worked so hard all week so we could actually spend some time together but I couldn't finish everything and now I have loads of texts books in my suitcase and I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed I'm really sorry I'm ruining our time together" I rambled 

"Hey hey slow down it's ok there's no need to be sorry it's ok tell me exactly what's going on and we can fix it together" Jude comforted 

"I still have two assignments I need to finish before the end of the week and I'm so exhausted from pulling so many all nighters but I just want to actually spend some time with you because I've really missed you" I said a bit more calmly this time 

"Ok we can work this out I know you're tired but how about I help you finish those assignments then we can just have a relaxing evening together get some sleep and be ready to do something together tomorrow" Jude suggested 

"That sounds good" I said 

Jude then picked me up and sat me on his bed before grabbing my laptop and books for me. I explained to him what I needed to do and then we go to work together. One of my assignments I just needed to reread so Jude did that for me to make sure there were no mistakes then I just needed to finish one other assignment and then do the same. Jude was so helpful and read the parts of my textbooks I needed to me while I typed and he let me talk through my ideas with him even though he doesn't understand what I'm studying. In just over and hour we were done and I instantly felt so much better and when Jude started giving me kisses I felt even better. 

 Being the amazing boyfriend that he is Jude got some chocolate from downstairs for me to eat while he ran a bath for the both of us to share. It was only when Jude came to ask me which bubble bath I prefer that I realised just how much he had brought for my visit. He doesn’t like to take baths so he wouldn’t have bubble bath just lying around and the chocolate I was eating was my favourite one so he must’ve got that especially for me as well. Jude is such a sweet boyfriend all the time but little things like this just make me realise how truly perfect he is and it makes me so grateful that I ended up with Jude as I know he truly cares for me. 

Once the bath was ready Jude helped me get in then he got in himself and sat behind me letting me rest my back against his chest. The entire atmosphere was so relaxing which helped me finally let go of all the stress and anxiety that has been fuelling me for the last few weeks. Nothing needed to be said either both of us were more than content just sitting there in silence as Jude’s fingers played with the rings on my hand especially the promise ring which he gave me last Valentine’s Day which I think is my favourite piece of jewellery I own. After a while of just relaxing Jude started to wash my body for me which meant I didn’t have to move at all as his hands gently rubbed over my skin. 

Once the both of us were clean we got out the bath and Jude gave me some of his clothes for me to put on which I very happily did. He then picked me up and carried me downstairs to the sofa where he piled blankets on top of me before sitting down and spreading them out properly. All of the sudden I felt the tiredness take over so I snuggled up to Jude and just let my eyes close and sleep consume me. Just as I was drifting off I felt Jude kiss the top of my head and whisper I love you which put a smile on my face just as I went into a dreamland. 

[littlegirlandhercabin]

Okay just a short story abt maybe my "success manifestation"?

I got an assignment that need to be done before saturday last week, and this assigment is important for me (in our uni there is thing call training point, basically you go to class without missing one, do all the assignments, if you fail one of this then also your training point. It's also can affect our GPA ) but well i comepletely forgot about it, when i realized there is an assignment it was already the next day (which is sunday)

So first of all, my first reaction was going to rant about this to my friends and belike nah i missed it, but then i remembered a post saying your thoughts are just your affirmations, then i quickly changed my thought and asked myself "since i have done all the assignments without missing one, would i go and talk with my friend about it and worry over such thing?"

Throughout the day, i don't think about it all the time, but whenever i think abt it i just be like nah i have done it, its done nothing to worry about.

Today my professor literally just said who haven't done the assignment can do another so that she can give us a grade (i didn't expect her to do that lmao)

And here i am, literally doing noting, just change my thought and persirt to allow that change to exist

Somehow it makes me more confident about my own power.

So that's my story! Maybe some of you can see this as a small thing, but well i still like to share about it!!

[amethystfairy1]

Hi, hope you're doing well! So, I am currently at uni doing animation and design and we have an assignment coming up where we need to make a few posters based on a book/series/ect. i was wondering if it would be alright with you if do mine based on your Travelling Theives series? It needs to be my design, ect so i wouldn't be pestering you abt anything, i just figured it would be polite to let you know and also to ask if you're alright with my putting you're username on the posters as well. we don't start it for a few weeks but i got excited and wanted to ask before i got carried away with planning stuff lol

OH MY STARS YES

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

That sounds so totally amazing!!! Yeah I’m fine with you putting my username on them! Just please please please share them with me somehow when you are done because I would absolutely LOVE to see what you come up with!!! That sounds so amazingly cool! 👏 100% yes I’m so honored that Traveling Thieves is poster worthy in your opinion I can’t wait to see what you make this sounds so awesome!!! 💖💖💖

[aljdkskjx]

things just seem to slip away from me. and there’s suddenly 5-10 things that i need to do at any given moment :( unread messages and emails that’s i’m gonna get to soon i promise!!!, reading, sem qs, lecture notes.. just so much shit for uni that i had a week to do and god knows how but it’s 2am the night before and i’m just starting so ofc the other “insignificant things” just get forgotten or set aside and then forgotten. no time to exercise no time to eat healthy no time to drink water no time to relax no time to sleep no time to take my vitamins no time to do skincare no time to floss no time to do laundry no time to clean my room

everything falls apart around me. i feel like i’m thrown from one thing to another. once somethings done there’s something else that i need to start pronto but i get so exhausted after each task that seems to take me 10x longer than everyone else that i need a few days to just passively survive until i can brace it through the next task. and i cry. overwhelmed by the stress and pressure of everything that i need to do and everything that i should have done already and everything that everyone else has already done and everything that i should be able to do because i am smart and i am an adult and there’s no reason for me to be so fucking useless that it has taken me a month to respond to a fucking email for fucks sake.

but it’s fine. because i get it done. and it’s done well. because if it’s not i will be nothing. all i have to cling to is academic success. it’s all i’ve ever had. so i go to uni on 20 minutes of sleep to a class that i’ve done nothing for and hope to god that the lecturer doesn’t ask me a question i can’t answer. i skim through the articles on my 30 minute train ride, deciding to do the work during a different class that i will definitely make up the work for later i swear! and eventually i just stop going. because what’s the point?

but no one ever sees that part. they see As and Bs on a very difficult course and they’re satisfied to some degree. maybe if i tried harder or applied myself more or studied or spent longer on assignments or didn’t leave everything to the last second i’d even get straight As! or the occasional Cs would plague me no more. that’s all anyone ever sees. a cruiser. someone who puts very little effort into it, skipping classes, doing no work for seminars and still somehow manages to pull through at the last second. some are even envious.

but it stings a bit. because that’s not true. i do try. i try every single day to be productive, just get something fucking done. and yet. everything seems out of reach. things just seem to slip away from me.

[hardtchill]

For me it’s very similar to the other anon. I’m turning 25 this year and I’ve still not got my bachelors degree because I had to quit my first go around at uni since i physically couldn’t learn for my exams. Granted it was compounded by other issues such as depression and anxiety but i genuinely believe that a not insignificant part of those issues come from the fact that adhd makes it near impossible to organise myself (unmedicated btw).

Seeing this on my feed rn is kind of ironic since even though im in my third year of a degree that I actually enjoy now, I literally dropped out of an exam that I was supposed to write today cuz I couldn’t revise. It’s not like I didn’t have the time and I’ve known for weeks about the deadline, but with every assignment or exam I push my own boundaries further and further back until I can’t do it anymore. Last semester I crammed 84 pages worth of notes in under 48h, an exam mind you that I’d pushed back over a year and was literally my last shot or I’d not be allowed to continue with my studies. I barely slept, I was throwing up, but I somehow passed, and with a good grade at that. Since then my brain is like, well you managed to do that that one time so you can totally afford to wait until the DAY before an exam to finish it. Or write a 15 page paper in a day.

And you know what, maybe I can. But the problem is the cost. It’s killing me. I find that it’s also very isolating cuz generally people don’t have a lot of empathy for this? So I end up pulling back from everyone including my best friends until I’m at a point again where I can be around people without letting on how incredibly bad I’m doing. Or I just straight up lie so they don’t know that I’ve not done the things i said I would do.

And all this is not just within the framework of academia. It’s also impacted my wellbeing in a more general sense - cooking for myself is hard because I tend to not listen to my body’s cues until I’m on the verge of passing out cuz i forgot to eat or drink, or by the time I’m hungry I still have to make a meal so I end up ordering something cuz it’s faster. Same with showering daily or brushing your teeth. Getting any routine started in general and sticking with it. I’ve been meaning to start exercising again but I keep delaying it for no reason. I’ve worked out regularly in the past so I know it’s something that I enjoy and that makes me feel good but despite that I’m still stuck in this place of inertia? It’s awful.

I’ve talked to some friends who also have adhd about it and the inability to start something cuz it isn’t instantly gratifying or that doesn’t align with an interest but is an obligation is quite common. Can I binge 7 seasons of a reality show in a week if it really interests me? Hell yeah! (I do watch everything at 2x speed cuz everyone talks too slow lmao but still). Will i fly through a massive book and literally forego sleeping if it means getting through more of it if im really invested? Absolutely. 1500 puzzle? Massive Lego set? Yep! Taking notes from a textbook for an assignment? Literally kill me right now.

I’m sorry for this long ass message and idek if you’re gonna read all of this but yeah just wanted to share my experience. Adhd is absolutely not quirky or a superpower and I wish there was a better understanding of it out there because it makes me my own worst enemy every day.

Ugh anon i feel you so much. I have skipped on many an exam during my bachelors because i just couldn't concentrate, focus or start revision. It's completely miserable to literally see the time go by where you feel the stress but you just cannot get your brain to start on what you need to do.

Any time i told teachers and now colleagues that i work well with deadlines i get told i'm not motivated enough because if i was i wouldn't need deadlines. That's just so unfair! My brain is graving dopamine, it's not laziness that my brain does this, it's literally just ADHD.

This is the same reason why your brain (usually) jumps into action when that crippling anxiety hits, because you're so close to a deadline that your brain can smell the dopamine.

The only reason that i finished my 6 month thesis is because i had many mini deadlines during those 6 months. I felt the anxiety to finish a part of it every month and i had a teacher who was very nice and gave you compliments when you did (DOPAMINE). If i didn't have that i would still be writing my thesis now.

ADHD is so misunderstood by so many people. It affects every part of your life and the negative consequences are so much bigger and impactful than the potential positive outcomes. I mean yeah i'm creative and can think fast, awesome but that doesn't make up for the anxiety, stress and grief you go through anytime your brain just doesn't want to start something.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Hey :) Can I ask for advice on the Siren fic? (which REALLY needs an actual name btw) It is rather spoiler-y though, so if you don't want that, maybe delete the ask and don't read on? And let me know?

Okay so, as I have teasered before, I definitely want to give River a human body back and I kinda want it to be Mels'. For plot reasons mostly; I could elaborate on this, but maybe I should keep some secrets.

But the thing is, in the fic it has to be older River from far down her timeline. And I intend to write her as such because her consciousness already as Siren is - while definitely also influenced by cat impulses - older!River. And I also want her to go by that name because it's her chosen name by that point.

But it kinda feels wrong? I believe River likes all her bodies and could cope with it but I reckon it might still feel off to her. Because she isn't that person anymore and she's used to the new body now? I don't really know but yeah. Maybe it's okay because in essence she's the same? The Doctor f.ex. I think would not really mind a mixed up body or feel the difference as much as other timelords like the Master for example or the General. (although I guess we'll see whether I am right with tenteen) But I am not quite sure where River falls on that spectrum. And then there is the added layer of completely changing her worldview while in the River!body and hence association of Melody Pond I and II with the Doctor's assassin.

And then if I have her be uncomfortable with the old new body, I firstly don't know whether I like that message with Mels being black and River white. And secondly there would be the opportunity to have her regenerate into the River!body or an entirely new body at the end but that feels like killing Mels off immediately after introducing her and I am still mad at Moffat for doing that. Also again, killing a black woman for the gain of a white woman - even though it is the same woman in essence - bad idea.

Idk maybe I am overthinking this and should just give her Mels' body and let her be River and be just fine with that? Maybe even a little excited to revisit a face she has been fond of before? (maybe I should also see what tenteen has to say on that in a few days)

Or I could also change the plot slightly and make her be River in the River!body like we know her. Maybe that's for the best?

Do you have any advice/thoughts? Have you encountered something like this in the eu maybe?

(Also do you want to read some River/Yaz dialogue snippets I brainstormed today and that haven't been workshopped yet?)

Read through this, sat with it a bit during lunch, and now I'm gonna give a relatively short answer because I should be doing uni assignments and have like one and a half braincells left XDD

I think if you do want to go for Mels' body for River, perhaps the Doctor tries to turn Siren back into River (because I'm boldly assuming River was just somehow turned into a cat) in a sort of "turning back your body's time" kinda thing, and she ends up fucking up and accidentally dialing it back too much. So we're back at Mels but with River's current thoughts. You could give River some introspection about how she feels being back in that body? That it feels strange but it was a body she had for years as well, that grew up alongside her parents. Meanwhile the Doctor is trying to figure out how to now turn River's body to River instead of having her stuck in one that doesn't correspond with her current mind.

I don't think I've encountered that per se in the Extended Universe, but the third Diary of River Song boxset does feature Mels as a character! (Don't ask me for details, I have terrible memory XD)

Yeahh. But if you want it dealt with quicker, I'd simply go for turning River back into River! (You could write another fic where Mels meets them, if you want to explore that dynamic, just saying)

[libmoopsychblog]

New semester, new me (I hope)...

I've had a lot of time to stare at my wall and re-evaluate the way that I tried to approach my first semester on the MRes course! But now I think it's time to do a bit of self reflection and to form an action plan for semester two so I don't burn out before graduation.

My experience of the first semester was challenging to say the least! Throughout my full life in academia, I've always struggled to stay on top of workloads and to start an assignment earlier than 24 hours before it's due date. At the start of semester one, I told myself that this would be the year for me: I'd convinced myself that a switch would flip in my brain and this year I would turn into the academic weapon that I was born to be. But it just didn't happen... Every submission in semester one was proceeded with a frantic rush up to the last second that was made ten times more stressful because of how much more difficult this work is to any I've had to submit in the past. Take the coding assignment as an example- I still have nightmares about how much my head hurt trying to finish that task on time!!

Whilst I've always been able to (somehow) walk out with good grades doing work in this way, it's just not a sustainable way to submit work at a Master's level. Not just because of the higher standard of work, but I've found 27 grey hairs coming through on my head since last November and I can't afford to dye my hair every week to cover them up. Joking aside, eventhough it makes me feel smart and accomplished to be able to write a 4000 word essay in 15 hours with no prior planning, I'm going to make sure that this is going to be the semester, albeit my final semester, that I become the academic success story that they write books about.

To give myself credit where it's due, I have constantly proven to myself that I can work under pressure. Pressure has always been my main motivator when it comes to submissions- I leave it until the pressure is at its peak to even begin thinking about writing. So at least now that when I get asked if I "deal well in high pressure situations" in a job interview, I know myself I'm not lying. But I have seen the negative consequences of this method on my mental health in the long run. I've constantly been in this cycle where I'll get mad at myself when I submit something because I know it's not my best work and this just can't continue.

When I think deeply about it, I think it is the constant passing grades that have stopped me from ever changing my ways. Why change a system that works, right? But I need to value my own mental health, stress levels and sleep more than I ever have. For me, it goes back to a classic theory I studied in A-Level Sociology- the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. I have convinced myself that I am somebody who needs a looming deadline and peaked pressure and who cannot work on an assignment in small, manageable chunks so that is exactly the type of person that I have become. So from now, I'll take my whole academic career so far as a learning curve and break the beliefs that I have forced upon myself about the conditions that I need to work in.

So here we are: the all important action plan.

1: Dear Diary...

A diary! I don't know how it has taken me 21 years to come to such a blatantly obvious revelation. But from now, I'm keeping a diary dedicated to all things deadline, planning and uni related. This way I have to hold myself accountable to the plans I've made for myself and can never say I don't know when something is due because it's in the diary.

2: Going to sleep on deadline Eve.

No more all nighters the night before a deadline! I've made a pact with myself that my work has to be submitted early so there is absolutely no work to be done the night before something is due. This way, I can be all tucked up in bed early the night before like a kid on Christmas Eve... bliss.

3: Slow and Steady Wins the Race

A lesson that I should have learned in primary school when they used to read the book about the tortoise and that rabbit. All of my work will be broken up into manageable chunks that I can complete in the weeks leading up until the deadline, rather than it just being done in one go.

So there we have it, a concise three step action plan that'll (hopefully) make semester two an absolute breeze... I'll let you know how that one goes.

[rianafying]

i’m on tumblr again about to journal so hard. anyway, i’ve been extremely busy and overwhelmed lately, with school and work. some would say i’m doing better than ever but i would say i am living in an internal prison hell of my own creation and my therapist would say i have a fear of success. she did actually say that. and after reading a couple of articles it makes a lot of sense. i have a huge problem. imposter syndrome and always downplaying my achievements god knows why. well god didn’t tell me but i found out why. it’s scary, being in the spotlight especially after experiencing so much bullying throughout my life. now i’m not scared of the direct bullying but i find myself actively sabotaging my own life. for example: i’m doing this podcast and so i’m researching relevant topics. after i learn about the topics, i feel worthless and like why would i make this podcast, if i know this information surely it’s either useless or wrong or everyone already knows better. i’m scared of putting my hand up and lately i’ve somehow developed crippling social anxiety, which is completely undetectable to the people around me. turns out i’m an introvert. i mean i kinda knew it but it’s been very relevant to finding the perspective that is keeping me alive recently. i’m doing great and somehow i hate it. i want to rip my skin and hair out and it makes no sense. i need to get on some sort of adhd medication at some point in life because raw dogging it is proving to be too exhausting for this poor brain. my assignments have been going kind of really well and yet i feel like i’m flopping harder than ever. no matter what i achieve it feels like the bare minimum and nothing i could do would actually make me happy. what is this hell i have placed myself in. at least i’m not screwing up. but i’m always this close to screwing up. the best i do is not screw up. somebody literally offered me extra money for my work because they liked it so much and i’m here still wondering if i let everyone down. aaaaaaaaaaagahsgshsjskkdjjdks. talking about my fear of success sounds an awful lot like i’m bragging, but i’m done with this part of today’s journal entry so let’s move onto other things that are bothering me.

my cousin and my little sister are both going through hell with their uni applications and as big sister ™️ it is often my responsibility to help them out and i love them so much and i’m so so glad that they value my input so much that they come to me with their problems and have me check their essays and applications. and i love helping people especially the people i love so much but sometimes i really just can’t find the time and i forget to get back to them and it makes me feel awful!!!! but i try my best, they know i try my best and they love me so it’s okay.

number three is that im fucking broke, i do fun work and fun work in the fashion industry pays very little. im often doing very cool projects with student designers or little emerging brands and underground artists and obviously they can’t pay the way big corporations do and im so grateful for whatever they give me and for the opportunity to work with them, but at some point im gonna need to find a steady job. i’ve been talking about this for exactly a year and a half now. a lot of problems in my life will be automatically resolved as soon as i get a job. this summer inshallah.

there’s always so many little things to remember and i do my best to keep track of them by putting them in my calendar and my master to do list and my notebook and anywhere and everywhere literally plastered all over everything. it’s kind of overwhelming but the top things im worries about rn are my business presentation, my collab, my interview, the photoshoot for the social media marketing campaign, the blog posts, the exam, to return some stuff i borrowed from designers and the hair makeup gig. all of this needs to happen before the 12th of december, after which i am fully dedicated to finding and doing fully paid steady work in retail or hospitality.

oh i’m also worried about not sending back the pictures i took for my photoshoot, because i’m not happy with the quality of my work. hahah crippling imposter syndrome and self hatred check!!

and my relatives are visiting me this week in my tiny studio apartment that’s messy (as always) (actually not as always, it’s much cleaner than ever before i’m actually getting better at this). there’s just a few too many things on my mind.

it’s gonna be okay though. things are going well, despite how i feel, despite all the fears i have, despite all the complaining, the reality is that i’m killing it. and i’m gonna listen to my therapist and try to have a goo

[cilil]

Alright! Time for the big reveal😉

The one statement that isn't true isss.... "I briefly studied history and literature at uni"! I would certainly like to study these two just for fun and might do that on the side sometime, but as the facts stand right now I've been studying law the whole time (finishing up in fact, do wish me luck for my final exams!) and only helping out friends here and there with their assignments.

As for the clear winner "I can play several instruments and compose", that is true. I may be talentless - in that you would be right hahaha - which is why I have permanently given up on music altogether, but I did attend a private music school for well over a decade during which I learned everything from reading sheets to playing various instruments to composing and improvising. I could theoretically get back into it, I just don't have access to my main instrument (piano) right now and feel like me trying is utterly useless due to aforementioned lack of talent.

I named my pet rabbits Latin names because I got them right around the time I started learning Latin and always loved old languages.

I played Pokémon competitively in my youth, like not winning big tournaments or anything, but was active in the community and joined a few online tournaments. Win record was usually positive and I still remember some cool plays fondly ^^

My right eye is nearsighted, my left eye is farsighted, also to slightly different degrees. I don't need glasses only because my brain pieces it together so it balances out (my sight isn't the absolute best, but it works just fine).

I broke my finger during a horse-related accident and while I was waiting for my parents to pick me up I noticed that one finger was oddly tilted and then intelligently decided to just... tilt it back. This happened before it was all swollen up, so when they took a look at it in the hospital later, it was revealed that the bone was in pieces... but somehow everything was in its correct place. No surgery needed, just bandaged up and left to heal on its own. I rolled a nat20 on that medicine check LOL

I decided to take @lightineventide up on their open tag and try this tag game because it looks fun :)

Rules: Make a poll with a bunch of truths and one lie about yourself (at least 5, more if you want) and see which one wins

Curious what you think. If you know your cílil lore, you should have a decent shot ;)

No pressure tags: @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @i-did-not-mean-to @sauron-kraut @tar-thelien @tauw-nu-fuin

@camille-lachenille @fishing4stars @mirkwood @curufiin @nighttimepatrons

@uruk-thighs @maglor-my-beloved @chrissystriped @crackinthecup @urwendii plus open tag for everyone who wants to join!

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

HELLO IAH sorry if this is weird but u were in my dream last nite!

On it we were uni classmates that didn't really talk but got put together for a wood etching assignment (?) & so after that class we walked to my place so we could work on it there.

You surprised me bc you seemed intimidating in class but actually talked a lot and were rly chill and funny... It was autumn & as we walked down the streets the sun was starting to fall a little bit and our surroundings started to get progressively more unsettling in a nightvale-esque way? I.e the lights from inside the houses were really creepy for some reason, we watched smth black ooze from under a door, so on and so forth. Then you got a call from your mom? aunt? and had to leave quick so we never even got to do our assignment and i was alone in the nightvale version of my neighborhood shdjdn ✌💀

Also! In the dream u looked like a perfect balance between ur icon and dola?? (Your hair was longer like hers? U were crazy pretty and i was literally >3< awestruck, whoever faceclaimed(?) u in my dreams...hmu... You had a really cool leather backpack wit a white bear charm? as well and i now want one :(

sorry this is v outta nowhere and so long winded but i had to let u know & also wrote it v fast this mornin so as to not forget it 😔🖤

sobs now i can never show my actual face… how can i live up to the dream version of me ;w; wtf a balance between my icon and dola… what a dream indeed ahdjshs

sorry it took a bit to get to this but i had to deal with some horrors and needed to keep my mood as stable as possible which… somehow seems to only happen when i’m playing sdv?? anyway anyway my gosh!! what an honor to be in your dream, even tho i apparently had to run off to do something and leave you alone to suffer with acads >.< the acads seem fun though… i’d love to do some actual wood etching and i always did fairly well whenever the class was a more hands-on one

it seems a little accurate to my current situation tbh? i feel like i’ve been busy and having to deal with a bunch of calls and communications between family (somewhat against my will too >.>)

so happy btw that it seems like the me in your dream was chill and funny ;w; i’m kinda thinking about how things wouldve gone if we met in uni somehow, like if we went the same one… it seems pretty accurate to how stuff usually went for me in uni tbh, save for the way the world around us slowly turned into nightvale >.<

(semi-prophetic dreams in terms of symbolism perhaps? <-are u into this kinda thing >.<)

i hope you’ve been doing well!! ;w; sorry if this whole reply seems like a mess ajdjshs i kinda feel like one

[gxtzeizm]

Hi

I’m so sorry yesterday I didn’t have the time, it’s been such a week :(

I’m glad you sleep well and you don’t need to worry about your test, I’m pretty sure you did it so well.

I haven’t had the time to watched the game either, so, who do you want to win?

I was thinking of watchin avatar but it’s so cold, I don’t really want to do anything outside my house

How’s your day going?? Are planning something for the holidays??

Also, have you seen the news about F1? The whole drama with Ferrari, McLaren??

Hope your having a beautiful day

-Your Secret Santa 🎅🏼

heyyy there!!!!

well don't worry about that...i truly understand if you had a quite fitted schedule this week. i'm not bothered about that.

literally i'm also starting to get busy these days...there will much more tests in a next few weeks as well as the assignments here and there. yeah probably i've about 2 months left before my first semester ends so no wonder if i starting to get a bit busy these days.

the thing about this final is sadly that's not what i expected literally....and maybe i'm rooting for france to win i guess (thinking that there're some remaining bayern players there who reached finals so i guess that's the one i'll rooting for).

it's kinda funny tho when i'm really hoping for morocco vs croatia final turns out that they'll meet each other during 3rd place match lmaoooo. but yeah, i'll more focusing on watching that match then the finals itself i guess 😂😂.

goddd i know it's hard tho for you to not able to go outside because of the cold weather. but i'm sure you have something to do even when you're only staying inside.

well literally i'm not really planning anything for the holidays...maybe i'm just staying in my uni. i guess just enough for me that i'll spending a day going outside my uni with my friends.

and of course i am!!!! this season is literally a silly season for the tps tho. and somehow i know it's still ongoing since december is not yet ending (well just take a look on today's rumors about williams want susie wolff and jenson button to be their team principal...idk what to say about this tho). but the good thing is yesterday's announcement about mick being merc's reserved driver. omg idk how i feel until now...it feels like a dream come true <333

same goes to you....i hope you enjoy your entire day with your family or friends 💖💖

[blessedwithabadomen]

Ahhhh Veronica - there's truly no such thing as "too long" when it comes to a question like this, in fact, this was exactly what I was hoping for haha!

I very much feel the thing with readings for uni haha! I do quite enjoy some of the classics but none of the ones I had to read, then again, my assigned reading during my BA wasn't even that heavy because I focused on linguistics more than literature. You've been to Stratford?? I love that place, I've been like three times including a little solo holiday where I ended up going to the threatre three times and I always want to go back.

We stan a diverse reader <3 Life's too short to stick to a genre or two. I'm always up for a Stephen King. And We Need To Talk About Kevin? TOP TIER. Should re-read that some time. I'm really in a re-reading mood this year.

I definitely want to know your favourite books from every genre now sgdjhasgd but for now, massive YES on The Time Traveler's Wife!! It's been a hot damn minute since I read it and now my mum's stolen it but I might just steal it back for another re-read because I was much, much younger when I first read it and no doubt I'll read it differently now. Although the only being in love I've ever experienced has ended awfully and left a bitter taste in my mouth, but that doesn't mean I can't feel it for other people who have experienced it. I also just love magical realism.

I've actually never heard of The Thirteenth Tale, somehow? But that summary has me sold, it's been added to my to-read list!! I've also added The Wishing Game because I'm very intrigued now!

I read... either a lot of not at all and when I can't bring myself to read it's very stressful because reading calms me down from my real-world troubles. I think my very favourite book of all time would have to be The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, a person I used to be friends with recommended it because "I seem like someone who would like it" (I still don't know if that was meant offensively or not haha) and I did. I re-read it regularly because I feel like no other piece of literature has ever captured the way my brain works so perfectly and I keep finding new things that resonate with me every single time.

I also very much enjoy just about everything I've read by Margaret Atwood so far. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier also stuck with me, I read it because it's one of my mother's favourites and it just... made sense once I read it too haha.

But yeah, I also read very randomly through many genres and I'm not half as well-read as I wished I would be, but there's still time, I keep telling myself!

hello hello hello random ass question but you're an English major and I want to know what your favourite books are and why thank you very much 🥰

Dear Laura,

hi hi hi!! You just asked what's probably my favorite question ever and of course, I got carried away. I'm sorry if this is too long!

Surprisingly enough, none of the books I had to read at uni are my favorite 😅 Obviously, I had to read the classics (Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights...) and I'm not a very big fan of those. They also forced Shakespeare down my throat for a couple of years and I ended up having a love/hate relationship with his works and his persona lol (I love the town where he was born, tho, it's my favorite town in England). 🤍

I read a lot, and I read a lot of everything. If you ever see my bookshelf you will see stuff ranging from Nicholas Sparks' novels to Stephen King's works (he's one of my fav authors) to some really fucked up stories like We Need to Talk about Kevin or My Absolute Darling (I actually loved these last two).

If you ever want to know, I have a favorite book for every genre. But my absolute all time favorite books are The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, and The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (I literaly cry for days every time I read this one).

The Thirteenth Tale is, most of all, a Gothic novel, and I love all things Gothic. This is definitely my go-to comfort read at any time. It has many classic Gothic elements and it can be somewhat predictable at times, but I was not expecting the plot twist toward the end. I love it for its setting in an abandoned manor and a main character with a quiet nature, who adores books and stories, and is emotionally scarred from childhood trauma.

I would define The Time Traveler's Wife as a romance novel with magical realism, and totally heartbreaking. It's got a touch of sci-fi with the time traveling thing, but it's not exactly what you would expect. I really don't like sci-fi stories and I think one of the reasons why I fell in love with this one is because of the way the author deals with that in the book. To summarize, the story follows Henry and Clare as they navigate life while coping with Henry's genetic condition, which causes him to randomly time travel. The curious thing about his condition is that, when he time travels, he often finds himself meeting Clare at different stages of her life; when she's a little girl, then a teenager, and then when she's an adult and they're married. The first time I read this book, I was a teenager and I found it really beautiful, innovating, and sad. The second time, I had already experienced being in love, so I felt everything between Henry & Clare's relationship on a deeper level, and towards the end, the story gets so heartbreaking that I was crying for days on train journeys, at work, and at home (I have to say that I'm a very sensible person and a crybaby lol).

However, there's also one other book that I read when I was 14 or so called The Wishing Game by Patrick Redmond that I've loved ever since, but its somewhat controversial for me because I fell in love with the 'villain' and was supportive of all his crimes 🫣 I think the reason why I empathized with him was because I read the story while I was in my teenage years, in my glorious high school days, and as most of us, I didn't really fit it, and sometimes I felt really neglected and angry, so I guess it was sort of comforting to read about a boarding school where the bullies start mysteriously dying 😶‍🌫️

What about you? Any favorite books? Oh, I love talking about books! This message put a big smile on my face sfsadfnsdsdfasjn 💞

[satorhime]

˚‧ ✰  ˓ ˖ SECRET-GO-ROUND | ˚｡ nanami kento x female reader ᨀ minors do not interact˓˓WORD COUNT ᨀ 7.8k˓˓ furueru kuchibiru!retelling, college!au, professor!nanami, uni student!reader, bratty!reader, age gap (nanami is in mid/late 30s, reader is in 20s), teacher-student relationships, carnival dates, a sprinkle of fluff 'n' angst, public sex, unprotected sex, blowjobs, exhibitionism, praise kink, quickie on a ferris wheel, creampies, money shots, sensei kink, anal play, fingering, degradation + reader is a lil manipulative. @SYNOPSIS ᨀ kento is in a secret relationship with his student, but when he loses a bet to her, he has to take her on their first date in public. @SATORHIME SAID ᨀ this is my first long fic since the spring and i'm so excited for u to read it !! (/ε＼*) i hope u babies enjoy this nasty lil piece i cooked up in my candy store MWAH !!

nanami kento is a hypocrite. 

he demands professionalism and punctuality from his students and he does not believe in making mistakes that can be avoided in life. his entire day would be ruined if he walked down a sidewalk and stepped in chewing gum when he could have taken the train, yet he detests tardiness. he grimaces at late assignments, typos in emails, and clucks his tongue at mispronounced words during oral presentations, even though, out of every faculty member and student at the university, he may be the one making the biggest mistake of them all.

it's surprising because nanami conforms to the standard. he studied law because he respected the structure of rules and resonated with upholding order and justice. he takes the moral high ground above his immature colleagues who refuse to grow up even though they're well past the age of thirty. much to nanami's delight, they stopped inviting him out on weekends because he couldn't stop sneering in disgust at their conversation, threatening to report toji, satoru, and suguru after they attempted to coax him into their long running competition of letting their good looks and expensive doctorates seduce starry-eyed students into fucking them for sport; tallying up each other's scores from their game like athletes every monday morning.

but yes, nanami kento is still a hypocrite.

because he is the only one with a student walking around his apartment half-naked right now.  

of course, nanami knows better than that. he barely dated through his long years of school, too focused on hanging up degree after degree in his parents’ living room to have time for anything more than a couple of flings and failed dates. and now four years into his tenure, a brilliant professor with a heap of accolades under his designer belt, he fell in love with you, his pretty little student.

he doesn’t know how it happened when the two of you are complete opposites— nanami is a jaded homebody that rejects human interaction and you are a firecracker full of energy in constant need of his attention. it wasn't even supposed to happen, but it's been a downward spiral of forbidden feelings since that one fucking evening you stayed behind after class to discuss your law research paper with him. you'd ended up hitting it off— you found nanami handsome, confident, and easy to talk to. confiding in him about your worries over getting good grades and making your family proud, and somehow that conversation ended with you being fucked over his desk for the first time. in truth, he had expected you to have your fill of a fantasy you wanted to play out and skip onto the next after that, but you didn’t seem to care about any of the other boys who looked at you around campus.

instead, you were satisfied with wriggling your way into his heart, one swish of your plush hips at a time. 

you’ve wriggled your way into his home as well, peeking your head curiously into his bedroom now. you find nanami still asleep on his back— his legs tangled in the bamboo sheets and one muscled arm thrown across his handsome features, shielding his eyes from the light beams. your eyes rove over his shirtless form, the morning sun illuminating the chiseled grooves of his toned abs— catching onto the fine dusting of golden hairs over his adonis belt. though he ignores the silly effect he has on you and the other students, your professor is easily the most beautiful man on campus and you could stare at him all day.

but not right now. a pout shapes your lips in disappointment because you rarely see nanami anymore. he’s busier than ever now between classes starting back up at the university, the cases he handles at the firm, and writing his faculty book. today is the first day he’s been free in almost a month, and he plans on sleeping the entire day away? that won’t do.

you tiptoe into the room, crawling onto the pillowy mattress to straddle nanami’s narrow hips. the warm weight rouses him, but his eyes remained shut, a soft groan rumbling behind his ribcage. 

“it’s too early for you to be in my lap, little love,” his voice is rough and syrupy with sleep, making you suck your bottom lip into your mouth at the sound of it— but you’re determined not to let his attractiveness ruin your plan for the day. “come on, get off.” 

“well, it’s too late for you to still be in bed, damn it,” you huff, peeling his arm away from his face to cup his cheeks. you watch as horizontal lines appear in his forehead, and you hurry to continue, “today is your day off, kento-sensei. i was thinking.. maybe- let’s go out on a date!” 

nanami’s café au lait eyes flicker open with a speed that startles you, fixed on your pretty face. you’re wearing his shirt and there’s a pillow mark on your cheek, hair messy from sleep. he feels his chest cave in because there’s nothing he wants more than to take you out to see the world and share your beauty with it. instead, a weary sigh exhales from his nostrils and it sounds like a declination. 

“you’re going to say no, aren’t you?” 

“yes, you know that we cannot be seen together. what will you do if someone recognizes one of us?” 

“we’re a couple, aren’t we? why are you always so worried about someone seeing us. c’mon, kento-sensei- i want to go to the carnival that's in town. we can even wear disguises!” you try reasoning with him melodramatically, but kento simply shakes his head at your antics. 

“i’m sorry, love, but there is too much at stake, for the both of us,” nanami says, squeezing your hip in apology. you frown— you hate being coddled by him. 

“too much at stake? like your tenure? is that really the most important thing to you?” 

“i won’t have this conversation again,” he clips sternly, propping his torso up on one elbow to narrow his sharp eyes at you. “when your classmates start rumors about you fucking me for extra credit, will going out on a date really be worth that? i’m thinking about your reputation, not mine.” 

“i don’t want you to think of my reputation, i want you to treat me like your woman,” you roll your eyes. it’s always the same argument. while nanami is content to hide your relationship in shaded alcoves and apartments with the curtains drawn, you want to love him openly. to run errands with him and sit in sunny windows at cute little cafés with him— to not have to lie at sleepovers with your friends when they ask who is the one who is making you so happy.

nanami’s silence is degrading, frustration simmering up in your chest. a deeper frown twists your features as you reach for a fluffy feather pillow, gripping both ends and swinging it down— aiming right for nanami’s head. 

he knocks the pillow away easily, unamused. “what are you, an infant?”

“argh, you’re so annoying. fine then, have it your way!” you grumble, but then your big doe eyes glint mischievousness in them. nanami can only watch with a lifted brow as you reach for the buttons of your (his) shirt, unbuttoning them quickly with trembling hands. your heart picks up to thump excitedly as you slip one side of the shirt apart, letting the fabric pool in the crook of your elbow— revealing pebbled nipples to your professor’s confused eyes. you gently cup one of your breasts teasingly, a minx. “let’s do it this way instead.” 

“and what way is that? are you trying to bribe me, young lady?” he snorts, but his eyes flicker down to the soft swell of your breasts, the knot in his throat bobbing as he swallows. 

you nibble your lip as you sit on your knees between his legs to paw the sheets covering his hips out of the way.

“obviously my bribery’s working since you’re already hard,” you tease in a saccharinely sweet voice. kento prefers sleeping in expensive silks with nothing underneath so your eyes are immediately drawn to the very visible print of his erection. you cup the bulge of his cock gently, palming it against your hand— little cunt pulsing greedily as you feel it twitch under your touch, nanami hissing under his breath.

the pit of his stomach lurches traitorously because he knows what your mushy little brain is up to— whenever he refuses to let you get your way, you’ll be reaching to hold his cock in your hand as if it is a genie that can grant all of your wishes. 

one of these days, you will drive him insane. 

especially when you’re humming sweetly as if you're folding laundry, hooking your thumbs under the waistband of his pajamas and tugging them down to his ankles. the heavy strain of his cock plops against his abdomen. you grab for it, marveling at how tiny your hand looks compared to it. honestly, nanami’s cock is just so fucking pretty to you that you long to tell all of your girlfriends about it— thick and weighty, a little darker than his body with a dusky tip that leaks so much. maybe you would leave out the detail that without proper preparation, his cock stretches you out painfully. tears and snot and limps in your walk whenever he fucks you. 

“oh, it’s leaking,” you simper breathlessly, throat running dry. 

“don’t be crass,” he scolds, but you ignore him to stare in wonderment at the way the bulbous head is drooling precum in a steady trickle, smearing over your hand as your thumb rubs against a thick vein. you go slippery, wet between the thighs at the thought of sucking it into your mouth, basking in the way his hips give a little jolt as you touch him. but other than that, he regards you with a flat look. “so what are you planning, hmm? tell me.” 

“i want to make a bet with you,” you lower your face until you’re level with his crotch, opening up and lolling your cherry tongue out invitingly. nanami inhales a serrated breath as your soft lips sucks the tip of his cock into your little mouth, sampling his taste. 

“how about this?” you continue, fluttering your lashes as you breathe in the masculine scent of his cock. he tastes good, sweet precum bursting over your tastebuds as you pause to swipe your tongue into the slit. you can't even wait, suckling down on the tip greedily, pausing between licks to speak. “if you can keep yourself from cumming until.. eleven ‘o clock then i’ll drop the idea of going on a date, but if you can’t… you have to take me to the street carnival. pretty please?” 

he pauses to think about it for the longest, and you roll your eyes, scraping your teeth ever so lightly against the underside of his length to bring his attention back to you, earning a dirty look in reward.

“i’m offended you think i’ll lose,” he snorts, but the way his hips kick as you kitten lick over the slit of his tip makes you smile. you're already winning. “i’m an adult, little darling. i know how to control myself.” 

“oh yeah?” you coo, challenging him by tilting your head down with an open mouth, warm and wet on the wide girth of nanami’s cock— drawing him in against hollowed cheeks, lathering him down in saliva that smells like mint and morning coffee. you reel back, hard on the pull up before slurping him back down in a slow mouth fuck. 

he tosses his head back with a deep huff from his nostrils, hand twitching on the bed. sometimes you hate how quiet nanami is. on some nights, after he is forced to watch boys flirt with you around campus while you’re dressed in tiny little shorts and slutty little skirts, he’ll toss you on his mattress and fuck filthy lies into you about sitting you on his cock in front of all 40 students in his course and claiming you as his girl, growling in your ear until you’re splashing his sheets with cum and crying into his shoulder because you want it so bad. but during times when you’re being bratty, he never rewards your bad behavior with the praise you work on your knees for. 

you briefly glance at the clock on the nightstand. 

10:32 AM

“gonna cum yet, nanami-sensei?” you tease on the release, his cock slipping out of your mouth with a wet pop, glistening in your spit. you smile up at him with precum on your teeth, blinking coquettishly as you let his cock plop against his abdomen, flattening your tongue to lick long stripes up and down the length of his cock. “it’s okay if you want to let go of it, i’ll catch every last drop of your cum.” 

“i’m not going to fucking cum,” nanami snaps, gritting his jaw. his eyes are narrowed and though he looks unimpressed and obstinate, he frays at the seams. “are you so hungry that you’ll eat my cum? stop this childishness and i’ll make you breakfast then.” 

“mm-! that won’t work,” you giggle at his weak attempt, before sinking your mouth back down on his cock, nose buried in the sandy hairs around the base. digging your fingernails into the olive skin at his thighs when the tip of his cock bumps against your fleshy throat, gagging around him as you struggle to swallow around the thickness lodged in your throat. mouth too small to accommodate the size of his fat girth. your cheeks are so cute, too— chubby with the strain, but you’re determined, even as thick precum drools down the back of your tongue and you choke, gurgling and flexing your tongue to greedily swallow it down. 

he’s always sensitive in the morning, waking up with his stiff erection pressed shamefully between your ass cheeks so you know exactly how to work him, a sweltering suction around his leaking cock. burning hot pleasure right into the pit of his gut. his fingers fist in the sheets and he looks so fucking ruined in the morning sun with his jaw slacked, neck blotchy and bursting with veins from the strain of holding off his grunts of pleasure— holding off his cum too. “j-jesus fuck, love. that’s it-” 

this time, nanami is the one desperately searching for the red glare of the alarm clock, eyes wildly reading the numbers. 

10:47 AM

thirteen minutes left. if he can just—

“don’t pretend you don’t feel good, kento-sensei,” you giggle as you reel back to breathe, swirling your tongue over the tip of his sticky cock. he grunts, his hips jolting desperately. “i know all of your weak spots, after all.” 

the law professor bristles, panting as he glares down at you. 

“don’t look at me like that… i just wanna make you feel good,” your aggressiveness isn't new to him. though usually you’re gooey in the head, on your back with legs splayed, letting him do whatever he wants to you— there are times like right now when you’re dipping further down to suck on his balls, weighty and full with cum, sending nanami’s hips into a frenzy. his hard cock slaps against your forehead as his hips jerk up, but you wrap your hand around it— pumping him quickly.

“fuck, i…” 

“duh-oh, i’m running oush of time,” you mumble as you suck greedily on one of his balls, watching the clock. 

10:57 AM

“what are you-” 

“you liked it when i did this, right sensei?” you hum, melodic voice like a siren on a shipwrecked shore, luring him in. devilish mouth smiling sweet as you’re committing sin, lowering further to play your dirty tricks on him— spreading one of nanami’s ass cheeks apart to swirl your tongue around the rim of his hole at the same time you squeeze his cock painfully. 

“d-don’t, darling. fuck… you’re going to make me-” 

his reaction is immediate, a big fist twisting in your hair to shove your head away from him but it’s too late. above you, nanami punches out a grunt that sounds ruined, the spongy wetness of your tongue teasing at his puckered hole combined with your firm hand pumping his cock in a steady rhythm is too much. he loses the bet with the back of his head shoved into the pillow, thighs twitching from the shocks of pleasure as long ropes of cum splashes onto your face in white strings, dripping wet down your cheeks. 

when he shoves your head away, you sit back on your heels— beaming up at him with the prettiest smile of triumph, covered in his cum. 

“that’s that,” you tease, “should i wear my white or pink dress?” 

“we’re only staying for a short while,” nanami announces with an exasperated sigh, even as he fastens the neon pink unlimited rides! armband around your wrist. when he finishes, you beam and hook your hand into the crook of his arm— scoping out the attractions. “where do you want to go first?” 

the last day of the traveling carnival is crowded. an annual late summer tradition in your city, it never fails to draw out the numbers on weekends. lovesick couples share kisses, dining on overpriced treats. exhausted families push around strollers with wailing babies inside of them while teenagers shove each other in the queues for thrill rides, pop music blasting through the speakers. it’s a risk, the kind of location nanami would have avoided for a first official date with his student, for fuck’s sake, but he hates seeing your looks of disappointment.

he much prefers the way you look right now— drunk on the scent of buttery popcorn and sugary cotton candy— a devastating figment of his dreams, dressed in a little white chiffon sundress that whirls around your thighs with each movement. your eyes twinkling in glee behind the shades perched on your nose at the colorful tents, fast rides, and rows of sideshows.

“let’s try out one of the sideshows first?” you suggest, pointing excitedly to the striped canopy stalls lined up on one row of the carnival, adorable prizes sitting on shelves behind carnies enticing passersby to try their luck at strength tests, shooting games, hook-a-duck and skeeball for cheap prices. “you could use a win after this morning.” 

“does that mouth of yours ever know how to be quiet?” nanami wonders wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose out of habit as rosy flush creeps above the collar of his shirt. “lead the way if you’re finished making fun of me.” 

rolling your eyes, you tug him by the arm over to a shooting range. colorful balloons line up in many neat rows. the carnie behind the stall brightens up at new victims, his smile missing several teeth as he gestures to the game— holding up a handful of sharp darts in invitation. 

“good evenin’, good evenin’ to the lovely couple! interested in trying your luck in pop-a-balloon? all ya hafta do is aim and throw. hitting five red ones in a row wins the largest prizes,” he markets, “yer fella looks like he’s got a good arm on ‘em too. whaddya say?”

“it’s an obvious scam they’re running. the red ones are the smallest,” kento points out under his breath, but you shoot a glare at him, nudging him forward. he sighs, reaching into the back pocket of his shorts to retrieve his wallet, slapping a crisp ten on the wooden counter. “fine.” 

“good choice! take these darts ‘n’ give it yer best shot, buddy,” the carnie pockets the bill, handing the darts to nanami and stepping safely out of the way. 

“alright, which one do you want, darling?” 

“the big one,” you grin.

“of course you do,” the male purses his lips, folding up the sleeves of his shirt before he takes the darts. it’s attractive the way his forehead creases, concentration narrowing his eyes behind his green tinted sunglasses.  he knows games like this are rigged, but that doesn’t stop him from carefully analyzing the balloons because you want the prize and he’ll do anything for you. it’s easy math, calculating the distance between his stance and the target wall— stretching a visual line across the tiny red balloons. 

the first dart strikes out, bursting the balloon with a startling pop. you clap your hands happily in support, a greedy pang of want twinging in your lower belly as you watch his biceps ripple with the movement as the rest of the balloons bursts easily until he's out of darts— game over. 

“congrats, man, y’ didn’t embarrass yer girl,” the carnie jokes, but you can tell he isn’t happy about the quick and easy win. “which one d’ you want, miss? top’s yours to choose from.” 

“that one,” your eyes sparkle, pointing to the large pompompurin prize in that adorable little suit. you’re handed the fat plush that dwarfs your frame, squeezing it to your body in delight. “it looks like you, nanamin!” 

“oh? should i be worried about the competition?” 

“please, no one can ever replace you.” 

you say it with a teasing smile, but nanami hates the way his heart stutters, even as his mind screams that he isn’t supposed to be here with you, entertaining your girlish affections, in love with you beyond repair. 

but as the sun relaxes the sky into a dreamsicle orange, so does the weight on nanami’s shoulders. he still keeps his eyes sharp for familiar bodies, but he finds it harder to resist your energy— letting you take his hand to drag him around the rest of the carnival grounds to various attractions. spending his money on sticky cotton candy, powdery funnel cake and customized couple items. forcing him to accompany you on your favorite rides, too— rollercoasters and carousels and tilt-a-whirls until the two of you are dizzy and windswept. 

“you looked relaxed,” you hum over the noise of thrill ride chains clanking together and carefree laughter in the background, tucked comfortably under kento’s arm as the two of you wait behind three other couples in the queue for the ferris wheel— your favorite and final stop before the date finally ends. 

“i don’t have to work today,” he replies dryly, but his thin lips quirk up as if he wants to smile. 

“that’s the only reason? ken, you’re so boring.” 

you really have a terrible habit of not letting him finish his sentences, he thinks. 

“wah, i wish we could do this everyday!” you cheer, cuddled up against nanami’s warm side as the ferris wheel begins to move, ascending higher into the sky as the large capsules sway in the breeze calmly. 

nanami simply nods in reply as he stares out of the window of the enclosed gondola, the giant pompompurin he won for you balanced comically on one of his knees. the view is breathtaking from up here. people strolling around the carnival grow smaller, the winking lights on top of the tents nothing more than tiny fireflies in the late summer night from this height. so high above the world who would judge you, it’s easy to forget decorum and feel like a normal couple. 

it even has kento completely at ease, sighing peacefully and believing that nothing could ruin the peaceful moment of bliss between the two of you up here— 

until the ride jeers and jolts to a hard stop, swinging the capsules violently. 

you hear a crackling noise from the speaker attached to one of the beams.

“attention all ride passengers!” the teenager operating the ride speaks into the staticky intercom with mildly contained panic. “we’re experiencing a malfunction and will have the ride working after a short while. please remain seated and do not open your capsule door. thank you!” 

“just grand,” nanami purses his lips in disapproval before his eyes slide over to you, reaching over to draw you closer. “are you alright?” 

but where he expects to be met with your apprehension, your answering smile is a twinkling constellation of giddiness and opportunity. after all, how could you be afraid when you’re stuck at the top of the world with the most attractive man born into it? looking at him right now means thinking of nothing else anyway. he looks good out of a suit with the outdoors on him— hair mussed up and sweat staining his pristine white linen shirt. you think about earlier today when you whined at him about lacking romance until he agreed to eat cotton candy from your fingertips, melted sugar crusted against your digits as nanami licked and suckled obscenely on purpose until your panties were embarrassingly damp. 

knowing this date out in the open with him will likely be your last, you plan on making the best of it until the very end. 

“h-hey, sensei?” you call for him, warmth blooming over your cheeks at the sudden idea pushing to the forefront of your mind. 

“mhm?” 

“didn’t seeing me in this pretty dress today make you want to fuck me?” 

“don’t flatter yourself, darling,” he replies flippantly, but you don’t miss the sharp intake of breath that rattles through the quiet gondola that betrays his answer. you looked like an angel of sin the entire day in your little white dress. how many times did that fucking hem flutter above your thighs in the wind as you carelessly bounced around, giving him a flash of your cotton panties? how many times did he have to yank it down before another man got a look at his girl— “i hardly noticed it.” 

“i could show you now,” you hum softly, never satiated. you rest your chin on his shoulder, fingers playing along the top of his thigh. “you could fuck me right here and no one would know. we’ll be here for a while…” 

“you force me to come on this date with you during my day off, now you want sex too? you’ve been hanging around frat boys too much,” he deadpans, but his cock twitches in traitorous interest against his inner thigh at your nasty little proposition. it’s hardly appropriate and he shouldn’t allow you to crawl onto your knees and plop right into his lap, but nanami can never find the willpower to deny you whenever you desire something that he can provide. “need i remind you that we’re in public? what are you-” 

“don’t be mean to me, sensei. i didn’t get to cum this morning, you know,” you whine childishly with a blubbery pout to goad him. you’ve always been insatiable and greedy, the simple thought of being stuck at the top of a ferris wheel with nothing else to do but wait to be rescued swirling a lusted ache into your cunt for him, needy and pulsing. 

“if we would’ve stayed home per my suggestion, i would’ve taken care of this here,” he tuts, his voice clipped and hard as he gestures to the way you’re already squirming against his thigh. “you just can’t wait for me, can you? even after class, you always have to sit on my cock before we get home. what am i going to do with you?” 

“i-i can’t help it,” you bundle the hem of your dress against your hips as you lean back, the center of your panties soaked and sticky wet between your puffy lips. he can’t see the damp patch waiting there for him, but he can feel it. wetting the cloth of his shorts down where you squirm and wriggle. the lights on the beams of the ferris wheel rotate into the gondola, flashing neon rainbows across your and nanami’s features in the quiet dark, allowing you to see the way his honey brown eyes darken to black. 

“stop thinking so much for once and pass the time with me,” you continue, purring the words against his neck. you move closer, your breasts pressed up against the damp linen of his shirt as you run your tongue over the sharp cut of his jawline, inhaling the spicy scent of his sweat and tom ford aftershave. your next move is the last bit of convincing he needs, fingers slipping between the gap of your bodies to palm the fat line of his growing erection. “y-you’ll fuck me, right nanami?” 

nanami grits his teeth as he feels his cock thicken in arousal, staving off a groan. his fingertips itch with the desire to touch you. he doesn’t know what has the biggest affect on him right now— the high altitude, the memory of your cute little throat struggling to swallow around him first thing in the morning, or just you in general. wearing a sundress shorter than some of his work shirts and begging him to fuck you on a ferris wheel.  

“come here, pretty little thing,” nanami murmurs huskily, squishing his big fingers into your soft cheeks to draw your lips to his for a kiss. he never fails to make stars bust behind your eyelids when he touches you— bold and bratty until you’ve gotten your way and he’s in the lead, letting you squirm on his lap. your cunt gushes at the kiss alone, warm and wet and forbidden as nanami tongues over your bottom lip— sucking it into his mouth, kissing you to a swell until you open for him obediently and he’s fully in control. searing licks of his tongue as he explores you.

the kiss is sloppy, just how you like it. challenging a clean-cut man like nanami who lives by the book into swallowing your soft whines and moans, into swapping strings of bubbly spit that tastes like cotton candy and caramel apples. 

“you’re so messy, even in public,” he chides, breaking the kiss to give you room to breathe but you chase it, nipping his upper lip with your teeth hard, nanami grunting low in his chest before you soothe the sting with your tongue. he pinches your chin between his fingers, twisting your head to the side to redirect his mouth to your neck. he knows better, but you cloud his judgment— murk up the waters of his mind as he fastens his lips onto a spot against your neck, suckling at the skin until the capillaries burst and his mark blooms slow. 

“o-oh-” 

“you’re even messier down here, aren’t you? filthy girl, how long have you been this wet?” he groans lecherously, fitting a hand between your spread legs and his thigh so he can twist the front of your ruined cotton panties against his fist, drawing them upwards so the damp fabric wedges painfully against the seam of your unused cunt. 

“that h-hurts, ken,” you whine, but it whispers off into a blissful sigh as nanami shifts the fabric, rubbing raw against your slit. with his free hand, he tugs the sweetheart neckline of your dress to press wet kisses over your chest with a hum. 

“i’ve got you, darling. i’ll take care of it- make it all better,” he promises, and just as he’s about to jerk your panties to the side and put his fingers on your pussy, the intercom crackles in a tinny screech— 

the two of you startle, chests heaving breathlessly and hearts thumping tandemly in erratic rhythms. 

“attention all ride passengers,” the voice is unfamiliar, clearing their throats before continuing, “the ride will be back in working condition in an estimate of thirty minutes. thank you for your patience and we apologize for the inconvenience.” 

thirty minutes. 

“n-nanami-sensei, h-hurry up! please, before-” you whisper out in a frantic breath, fumbling for the loops of his belt to unbuckle it.

“hush, i promised i would take care of it,” he grunts, as unhurried as ever as he swoops his head down and fastens his lips around your nipple over the material of your sundress, suckling the bud until he feels it peak against his tongue, until the fabric is soaked in his spit and your pussy clenches hungrily in need. he nibbles at the bud, torturing you— pinching it between his teeth, bringing irritated tears to your eyes at the little twinges of pain. “alright now. i want you to take my cock out and rub it through your messy little slit, can you do that for me?” 

“can i sit on it?” you flutter your glistening eyelashes at him as he reels back, leaning against the bench of the capsule, letting you twiddle the buttons of his shirt apart first— revealing golden skin and the ripples of his washboard abs before you continue, sliding the zipper down on his shorts. kento’s cock is fully hard when you draw it against your palm, warm and twitching when you squeeze it experimentally. 

“what did i teach you? haste is the enemy of quality.” 

“god, y… you’re so annoying,” the gondola is too dark to see, but you know what it looks like from memory alone. his cock bounces between the two of you, slapping against your belly button, the mushroom tip leaking foggy droplets down the thick shaft. your tongue feels like cotton in your mouth as you wrap your fingers around it firmly, spreading tacky precum as you pump him slowly.

he tugs your panties to one side as you lift up just a little, letting nanami’s cock bend along the line of his thigh— long and hard under your ass when you sit down against it. he knows that the two of you are running out of time; he can’t tease you like he does at home or in his office after hours, boring you with philosophical quotes or quizzing you with topics you don’t pay attention to in his class and forcing you to sit on his cock for hours when you answer incorrectly. drool floods your mouth at the delicious friction as you hump your pussy over his cock desperately, wetting him down in strings of slick;  your puffy clit rubbing against the flared head, but it's not enough. 

“n-nanami-sensei, c-c’mon, this isn’t fair-” you pant into the crook of his neck, oversensitive and strung out, swiveling your hips in a slow circle, grinding your clit down hard until it feels sore.

“what isn’t fair, little darling?” nanami chuckles in amusement, but he sounds like ruination, voice gravel on stone. he slips the straps of your sundress from your shoulders to press kisses to your heated skin. he forces the fabric down further, just until one of your nipples are exposed and he can wrap his lips around the bare skin, suckling it against his tongue. he drags his cock away from your folds, slapping it hard against the coarse curls at your mound. “you think i'm unfair because you want my cock inside you around all of these people and i won't give it to you? when will you ever learn propriety, hmm?” 

“n-not ‘til you fuck it into me, kento-sensei,” is your petulant response, gripping the skirt of your sundress dress until the skin of your knuckles feel taut. it’s unfair that he makes fun of how much you want him, it's unfair that he has all of that cock but he won't let you fuck yourself on it, it's unfair but you let it happen— wriggling in anticipation, letting him slap the tip of his cock against your clit and tease you out as you moan for it dumbly. “wanna sit on it your cock so i can learn something!” 

“why do you think you deserve it?” 

the effect he has on you is dangerous. maybe you’re naïve and reckless with your heart, the dewy-eyed college girl helplessly in love with her professor— but no one has ever made you feel the way that he does, not the shitty frat boys or snobby trust fund babies that chase your cute smile and pretty skirts at parties and in hallways. while he thinks you’re using him to fulfill a fantasy, you’re simply unable to convey your feelings into actual words. it’s more than just wanting to fuck him because you’re good at it and it feels good. instead, it’s because when his cock is stretching you out, the two of you joined in the most intimate way possible, it’s forbidden words left unsaid. you deserve him because you lo— 

“buh-..’cause you always gimme what i want?” is how you choose to respond instead.

“incorrect answer as always, brat,” he scolds, reaching around to deliver a punishing slap to your ass, making you cough out a yelp. “sit on me, even though you don’t deserve it.” 

oh.

you glance out of the window behind kento’s head. it’s too dark to see inside of the other stranded gondolas below you, but you wonder if they can see you. if the other couples are watching as you lean up on sore knees, smearing his precum along your folds as his cock swipes through your slit until the fat head catches on your entrance and you hear him hiss.

your heart thuds painfully against your ribs, the familiar feeling of delicious fear at the sheer size of your professor’s cock setting an ache in your belly. you widen your thighs, your knees scratching against the rough material of the bench as you reach down to spread one of side of your folds apart, opening yourself for him. but as you plan to sink down slowly, carefully, the ferris wheel suddenly rocks, spearing you down too fucking quick on the blunt head of his cock—

“w-wait, k-kento-sensei-!” your abrupt shriek rings out in the silence as you scramble desperately to wrap your arms around his neck for support. glassy tears spring hot to the corner of your eyes, the stretch making your sore cunt flutter around him tight and desperate as your knees try to snap shut against his hips uselessly. you try to hold yourself from sliding down on him any further until you're ready for it, but you’re so fucking wet that your pussy greedily sucks in the rest of his inches and your thighs give up against the strain, weight forcing you down to sit flush against his lap— jutting his cock up against your womb with a deep twinge.

“take it easy, darling girl,” he bites out behind clenched teeth as his head tosses back against the window, his groan vibrating against your bodies. fingers digging deep into the soft skin of your hips at the intrusion, the sensation of your pussy sinking down on his cock is too much— breaking him out into a cold sweat, feverish. you're so small, tightening around him until he feels like choking. his calloused hand tries to rub soothingly over the soft dimples of your lower back, but he’s just as fucked out as you.

“i-i can’t-!” you cry out, trembling in his arms and clinging to him hopelessly, snot bubbling in your nose and mascara staining your cheeks. you shift experimentally and you feel your stomach lurch with a wet gasp punching from your lips, but there’s no real time to get used to the stretch of his cock inside of you and you know it— not when the mechanics are close to fixing up the broken ride. “n-nanami-” 

“you can do it, love,” he coos, kissing the temple of your sweaty forehead with the tender care you deserve for trying to accommodate his fat girth. he rewards you by fanning his hand over your belly, thumb dropping upside down to rub through your folds, fucking it over your swollen clit in squishy circles. “show me how well this pussy can take me.” 

you nod dumbly, the pleasure singeing your nerves raw as you shakily lift out of his lap before sinking again, his cock disappearing against your gummy walls with a thick push that squelches lewdly on the draw in. it’s overwhelming and so fucking good, your hand slapping against the window behind his head for leverage— leaving a print in the condensation. “eugh- f-fuck, kento-” 

there’s a different kind of stroke to a cock when you’re not allowed to have it. sweet punishment for your sins because you aren’t supposed to be here with your professor, fucking him at all, let alone in public. forced to settle for short, deep drops of your hips instead of bouncing high and spreading it out— keeping him snug against your cervix in order not to rock the capsule too much. it’s messy and your cunt loves it, slick spreading along your thighs, gushing down the length of nanami’s cock. 

“ah, look at you. you love this, don’t you? you wish someone would see. it’s like you want to get caught so everyone will know who this cunt makes the sweetest sounds for,” nanami rasps out, thumbing your clit faster now, leaving his fingerprints under the hood of the sore nub. he widens his stance, spreading his feet apart to force you to sink deeper into his lap— hard jostles, your ass cheeks slapping down lewdly against his balls. your back arches so prettily for him that he can’t help but grasp one of your tits into his hand, bringing it to his mouth to taste the salty skin on his tongue. 

“i-i love it-! i love it s’much, kento-sensei. love you s‘much-!” you sob loudly, burning with the affection his cock fucks against your nerves. you’re drunk on the pleasure, too much dopamine twinkling in your brain to realize the weight of your confession, but kento does. heart sputtering and swells inside his chest cavity because you sound like you mean it— cock thickening inside of you. 

“fuck- fucking love you too, my darling girl.” 

the desperate rhythm of your fucking upsets the gondola, rocking it slightly, and kento loses ground— his teeth catching your nipple in a pinch that makes you fuck down on him harder. the pain combined with the pleasure of his cock dragging in and out of your cunt dizzyingly sweet. he soothes over the sting with a gentle suck of his mouth and you squirm with a whine, gushing around him even more, your sticky cream foaming around the base of his cock in a squishy ring that aids your slide.  

“we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience, folks. the ride appears to be fully operational now and we will begin unloading passengers now!” 

the intercom announces loudly as the engine of the ride cranks up on the ground, the flashing lights shining into the gondola once again. you don’t even pay attention to the bright beams, eyes rolled back and and head too full of cum to notice so kento quickly clamps his hand over the back of your head and forces it down against his shoulder to hide your silhouette in the window.

“no- don’t wan’ get off yet. i-i’m so close… wanna cum on your cock so bad!” 

“what are you going to do if we reach the bottom of the ferris wheel doing this?” he pants, his hands pressing searing bruises into the curve of your hips as he lifts you effortlessly up and down his cock, breaching your soaked cunt with powerful, deep fucks that leaves you ruined. 

“a-are you scared of getting caught, nanami-sensei?” you whine, shifting against his strong hold, drooling against his shoulder as you moan loudly. nanami answers by bucking his hips off the bench hard, letting the devastating drops of your hips be met with hard snaps of his own. 

“hush, filthy girl. you’re so fucking loud,” he hisses, his hand leaving your hip to stuff three fingers into your mouth, clacking against your teeth with the movement. “suck them or do you want someone to hear us and stop you from cumming?” 

by the time the ferris wheel begins to descend, your mind is lost to the pleasure nanami fucks into your pussy. your exhausted fingers rub furiously at your puffy clit as you bounce frantically on your professor’s drenched cock, letting the fat cockhead bully that spongy sweet spot nestled along your walls repeatedly until you’re wailing even louder, the sound barely muffled by nanami’s thick fingers.

it’s so fucking good that neither one of you care about getting caught any longer, consequences be damned. the musky scent of sex permeates the tight air, the capsule rocks violently with your sloppy movements. and how could you care about anything else when nanami grips your hair and hisses into your ear, once and for all, “cum for me, you little slut,”

“uhuh, k-kento-sensei ‘m gonna cum for y-you-! jus’ for you-!” you promise with a cry, swallowing his cock down with greedy bounces of your cunt to his lap— thighs trembling violently, eyes crossing up, blurring your vision with tears as you fuck lewdly. your nails scratch down the window desperately as kento takes over and rubs his fingers through your slit, hooking his middle finger into your cunt alongside his cock, stretching you out even further while his thumb is back to rubbing into your clit again. sharp shocks of pleasure in that final movement that burns through your veins, throwing you over the edge. 

“give me one, little love- give me one right here, let me feel you-” 

you’re wailing too fucking loud, but he doesn’t dare stop you, not when you’re this breathtaking. trembling in his lap as the knot in your lower belly bursts wide open, knees clacking against his hips as your orgasm curls your toes, washing you down with white hot pleasure. you cling to nanami’s neck desperately, cunt expanding as overstimulation sets in and you splash juices against his shorts and the hem of your sundress with so much force that his cock slips out with a wet squelch, until you quickly push it back in with a gasp. 

“h-hah, oh god-!” you squeal, writhing all over his lap, cunt still pulsing and clamping around him. kento swears and you know that he’s close too, doing your best to give him a few more weak drops of your cunt on his cock. his muscles tighten and he cums with a long guttural groan that he buries against the sweaty skin of your neck, spurting thick globs of warm seed right up against your womb just as your gondola reaches the bottom of the ferris wheel— 

“f-fuck, darling. get off- get the fuck up right now-” 

you quickly climb off of kento’s lap on gummy legs, his cum pooling against your cotton panties and trickling messily down your inner thigh. you wipe your thighs on the hem of your ruined dress as kento calmly tucks his dripping cock back into his shorts before buttoning his wrinkled shirt up with an air of easy sophistication, as if he just didn’t fuck his student dirty on a ferris wheel, as if your squirt isn't soaked into his shorts and dripping onto his shoes.  

“come here, you,” he beckons, reaching for you to tenderly wipe your tear stained cheeks with his shirt, clearing up the smudges of mascara. “there.” 

you smile at him blearily just as the door to the gondola opens. the ride operators take in your disheveled appearances, but round it up to an hour of being stranded at the top of a thrill ride. what were they going to say, anyway? miss, why is that man's cum leaking down your leg?

nanami is casual, holding his head high and exiting first with your pompompurin plush while you follow behind him shyly, his arm wrapping around your waist to hoist you down from the gondola. he knows that the limp in your walk will be too obvious— you’re always so sore after he fucks you— so he kneels down on the platform, letting you climb onto his back to be carried. 

the carnival is deserted now. rides that once blasted the summer’s top hits have been shut down, sideshows boarded up for the night, and fairgoers who filled the streets have gone home by the time you and nanami make your way towards the exit, avoiding the makeshift emergency triage to the left checking on passengers of the ferris wheel even though no one was injured. but maybe you needed to let them check your heart and diagnose why you selfishly forced nanami into hanging out with you on his only day off, why you confessed to loving your professor while you were bouncing on his cock— 

why you meant every word you said to him.

“say, kento,” you call sleepily, one cheek smushed against his shoulder as your head lolls cutely against it. you hear him hum for you to continue, shifting your weight evenly as he walks out of the carnival grounds and towards the parking lot. a lump forms at the base of your throat, and you hate how vulnerable and weak you sound. “i’m sorry for dragging you out here today on your day off. you must be annoyed with me, right?” 

“don’t be foolish,” his voice is back to that endearing monotone, but he gives your thighs a soft squeeze as he strolls, pressing the key finder to his mercedes once you reach the parking lot to locate it. he's been an idiot the entire time, hiding you away like he has. “i’m off next saturday too so let’s go out on a date again.” 

˚‧ ✰ hottest students in nanami's class: @tobiodose, @lawscorazon, @fushisslut, @danibby, @hanmas, @atsumeii, @venusflytrapstar, @sheerxfiction, @sintiva, @getosbunny, @tonaken, @sailewhoremoon !!

[vaguely-yandere]

oh god chami ur brain is so big. so wise. UGH you're really good at this.... writing sm on the fly!! <333 hrrghhrghhh ur last response is making me so </3 im feeling so many things rn. what do you think would happen if sensitive yan ended up being your roommate? lets just say its you're a uni student who's dorming arrangements were switched around this year. you dont recognize the name of your roommate you were assigned, but you cross your fingers and hope that whoever they are, they're nice. you just want someone to get along with, really. your last roommate, while nice, wasn't exactly the type of person you clicked with; thus you were really hoping the dorming admin gods were looking favorably upon you when they put you in this double room w this person!

but oh, if only you knew. sensitive yan is freaking the hell out---THEY know who you are. you're only the person they've been majorly crushing on/obsessing over for the last year. you, who they've seen around campus and in their english class. you, you, YOU... how did they get so lucky?

i can only imagine how awkward the first few months are. you ofc, attempt to get to know them the best you can, in order to avoid the weird "never more than an acquaintance" situation you had with your last roommate, but god, they make it SO HARD. sensitive yan makes up any and every excuse to never be in the room the same time you are; they return in the early hours of the morning to avoid talking to you while youre sleeping, they leave even earlier to make sure they're not there when you wake up; its a never ending cycle of cat and mouse.

you honestly are getting a little tired of their behavior. was it something you did? you don't ever recall ever doing something to them; you havent even TALKED to them, for crying out loud. you were also getting a little concerned that they weren't getting enough sleep or taking care of themselves!

you begin to feel a little hopeless but you're determined to break the ice and finally speak to them. you had just gotten out of one of your classes early, and knew that you could catch sensitive yan off guard by booking it to your shared dorm right away. (somehow, they seemed to know your schedule like it was their own; they somehow managed to never be in the room when you were, which was honestly getting a little impressive considering its been literal months since the semester began. but you could tell that they were in the room while you were out by the various items in your dorm being shuffled around while they did what they needed to do )

you knew they wouldn't be expecting you, and you were hoping that they weren't in class right now. although, as you sneaked up to unlock the door....

"ah! a-ah! hnnn....!! darling....!!"

? was that... what you thought it was? with your keycard already pressed up against the handle, the door swung open before you could decide whether or not you wanted to run; and there they were!

on your side of the room... on YOUR bed... with their fingers shoved inside themselves and whimpering. their eyes looked glazed over and they were drooling, the room was humid and hot. it smelled like they'd been at it for a while, too. it took another second for your brain to realize that they were holding your shirt too, the one you thought you lost the first ever time you did laundry in the laundry room.

the moment they heard the door open, their head snapped towards you. your eyes met.

well, this is not how you expected your first meeting with your roommate to go!

-hehe!! sunny <3

SUNNY YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG AND WRINKLY!!!!! I COULD SMOOCH IT!!!!

you're racing to your dorm, a giant smug grin on your face. you dont know why but you were invested in this game. sure, your friends said theyd be thankful if their roommate was never around but they didnt understand. you just knew they were avoiding you and you needed to know why! did they know you?! did you do something to them?! this is fucking university, if they had some sort of grudge over you then they should tell you to your face like an adult!!

and now your here. eyes wide. your roommates chest is completely frozen despite heaving only seconds before. theres two towels underneath them to keep from staining your bed. their hair is a mess. the entire room is blasting you in the face with humidity and heat like a sauna. you always kinda wondered why the room smelled like outside air after you got back everyday..

and your roommate. god, your poor roommate, theyre eyes are glassy from forming tears, theyre completely tense, you can barely comprehend the humiliation and embarrassment theyre experiencing right now.

so you take a deep breath (god, it smells so weird) and bring yourself back to the present. "i'm. gonna shut the door."

they nod, getting shocked back into their own body by their words and finally breaking eye contact.

"and you... do what you need to do and open the door when you're done. and if you run, i will chase you."

they nod again and you start closing the door, not before making the 'im watching you' sign just to be clear.

is it wrong of me to admit that this is extremely hot?

after a while, they open the door and obediently dont run, simply stepping aside to let you in.

when you walk in, the window is open, it smells like fabreeze and hand sanitizer, your bed is exactly the way you left it and the tshirt they were holding was no where in side (although the boxes under their bed are in a different order) so you take a seat on your bed, purposely avoiding the spot they were masturbating on, face feeling hot.

"sooo....."

they dont respond, eyes trained on the floor while they sit down on their bed, wringing their hands. theyre still emitting enough heat you could feel it from there, a small bead of sweat trailing down their forehead, to their brow bone before being wiped away. their fingertips are pruny and red.

".... i get it."

theyre head snaps up to you but the second they make eye contact, they tilt their head back down, biting their lip.

"no, no, seriously, i get it, just needed some... privacy but what i dont get is.. my bed." you graciously dont mention the tshirt. it was an old promotional tshirt that you had been using as a night shirt for a while so you werent really missing it but youd absolutely be snooping under their bed when they left. you felt like you deserved it and a lot of your other stuff had gone missing or randomly replaced so you were curious about their collection.

"ah..." they finally look up but at the ceiling, eyes flitting from tile to tile. another long beat of silence follows, pulling a sigh out of you.

"just tell me. this whole... avoidance thing is getting old. did i do something to you? is this.. revenge? just tell me like an adult and if you want, we can pretend this never ever happened! please, just tell me cause its starting to piss me off knowing my roommate, who i hoped was nicer than my last one, is purposely avoiding me and i dont even know the reason for it!"

"i-i...." they mutter something under their breath, eyebrows connecting and shoulders rolling to shake off the anxiety.

"i cant hear you, hun." the casual nickname makes them squeeze their eyes shut and a small shudder wracks through their body.

"pl-please dont... dont call me that.... you dont- uh- know what it.. d-does.. to me." they stuttered through their sentence, tumbling over their words and their voice barely audible.

"what does it do to you?! cause right now, you're kinda acting like a kid! i dont wanna be rude but its true and i dont wanna be roommates with a kid!"

the look of utter heartbreak makes you wanna shove your words back into your mouth and choke on them.

"please no! i just- i- being around you it-" they take a deep breath, biting their lip. "it does things to be and... its the type of thing that.. that isnt appropriate when the other person isnt uh... a-aware of the reaction their actions and words are um... c-causing.." they sound strained, trailing off at the end of every few words, fidgeting in their spot.

"... thats it?"

"huh?"

you shrug. "i get it. thats.. embarrassing and i dont understand why but clearly you care enough to not wanna have... that reaction around me without me knowing so that means you arent all that bad. im glad you-"

"p-please stop!" they whimper, bringing their knees to their chest and hiding their face.

"wha- seriously?! right now?!"

"yes right now! i c-cant exactly control it! if i could, i wouldnt ever have this.... r-reaction!"

"oh my god... thats.... thats kinda hot.."

their eyes widen to the side of saucers and they shoot towards you, pupils giant before they squint and their eyes roll back, forehead hitting the top of their knees and they fall on their side, twitching.

"did.. did you just...?"

they pause before slowly nodding, squeezing themselves tight enough you can see the whites of their knuckles.

"... huh...... hey, have you ever heard of exposure therapy?"

youre gonna kill me